Stone cold crazy panhandler lady, entering subway car: That man in the brown jacket, who's gonna tell you not to give me money, he's the JonBenet Ramsey rapist.
Impressed observer, reaching for wallet: That was definitely worth a dollar.
Stone cold crazy panhandler lady, walking on: And then in Carrie, they put the blood on the people and then they jerked off the dog.
Impressed observer: I should have given her two dollars.
–Downtown D Train
Overheard by: stephie
Dude: It was just so scary to overhear people talking on their cell phones saying all those things you associate with disaster.
Chick: Yeah.
Male passerby on cell: The problem with so many women is just that they don’t have the right amount of support! I know more women who live miserably because they are wearing the wrong cup size! Just get measured!
–Central Park South
Woman stopping passersby: Do you know the Chinese restaurant on either 8th or 9th? (points at buildings on 14th Street)
–14th St & b/w 7th & 8th Ave
Girl to another: What is jizz?
–NYU Freshman Dorm
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Man in all seriousness to restaurant server holding two plates of food: Do you guys serve food here?
–Las Ramblas Tapas Restaurant
Woman on cell: Do you think they have batteries in the Dominican Republic, or should I buy some?
–Gateway Center, Brooklyn
Overheard by: DominicanEnergizer
Tourist woman: Excuse me, do I go Uptown or Downtown?
–Delancey St
Overheard by: TR
Bewildered girl in Persian class: Does Iran have lightning?
–NYU
Two women are seated across from each other on the train. One has a long object in a soft-sided container.
First woman: Is that a bassoon?
Second woman: No. It’s a sword.
–C Train
Woman: Does anyone have something I could write with?
Mother: I do! One second.
Woman: Great, thanks.
Mother: Be careful, it’s my most favoritest pen.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Jess Kimball
Woman to stranger: Do you know how to get on the High Line?
Man: No, I never use it.
–Chelsea, Under the High Line
Overheard by: Cheryl
Drunk man: What's your name?
Sober woman: Emily.
Drunk man: Can we talk, Emily?
Sober woman: Sorry, I have to go call my boyfriend.
Drunk man, clutching heart: Dagger! Your name should be “dagger.”
–Coming Out of UWS Bar
Overheard by: That's cold
Religious promoter: Jesus is the eternal savior! Only He can save you from the doom that you see in the movies that destroy New York!
Passerby: May I ask where you're from?
Religious promoter: Um… Union City.
Passerby: Go the fuck home!
–Times Square
Dude: Anne Frank looks really hot.
Random woman : What's the matter with you? Don't you have any respect?
Dude: Oh, sorry. With all due respect, Anne Frank is really hot.
–Prospect Park
Baby-voiced bag lady to pretty girl across from her: Excuse me, miss, do you have a pen?
Girl: No. I'm sorry, I don't.
Baby-voiced bag lady : A pen! A pen!
(pretty girl shakes head)
Baby-voiced bag lady : A pencil?
Girl: I'm sorry, no.
(baby-voiced bag lady pulls Bic pen crack pipe out of bag and lights it. Train car quickly empties)
–C Train
Overheard by: sarette
