Blonde tourist (after swiping futilely a few times): How do I swipe this?
New Yorker (looks at card in tourist's hand): That's not a Metrocard, that's your room key.
–E Train
Overheard by: Laura
Blonde tourist (after swiping futilely a few times): How do I swipe this?
New Yorker (looks at card in tourist's hand): That's not a Metrocard, that's your room key.
–E Train
Overheard by: Laura
Boy on class trip #1: Look! The hall of Asian mammals!
Boy on class trip #2: Since when are there mammals in Asia?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Amanda
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Getting married is like playing house! It sucks!
Drunk girl #2: Yeah! I never want to get married or have kids. I have too many mental illnesses to pass along.
–L Train
Customer to punk teenage girl behind counter: I’d like a dozen rolls, please.
Punk teenage girl: A dozen… What’s that, like twenty?
–Delicatessen, Park Place
(teenage lovers on city bus)
Teenage girl: Was that an eggplant sandwich I saw you eating?
Teenage boy: Yes, it was actually eggplant Parmesan.
Teenage girl: But, you don’t even like eggs.
–SI City Bus
Patron: Do these stairs go up?
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Maura
Drunk White Sox fan to passerby: Hey, what time does Times Square close?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: giovanna
Dude at the next table: Is Long Island really an island?
–Peter Luger’s, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Yes, he really just said that
(girl sees poster for Army Wives and turns to friend)
Girl: I don’t get that show. Are they married to army dudes or something?
–C Train
Southern lady: Empire State ReBuilding? Does that mean they’re moving it?
–33rd & 5th
Overheard by: Katie Mainc
Roommate #1: I gotta get out of this stupid city!
Roommate #2: Why, man?
Roommate #1: Man, I gotta get out of this stupid… This stupid state!
Roommate #2: Why?
Roommate #1: I hate this city! I hate everything on the East Coast! Everyone here is so stupid! They do stupid things like… They have stupid days like… Like Wednesdays!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: nooners knows that las vegas doesn’t have wednesdays
Little boy to mother: Mom, have you ever heard of Anne Frank?
(silence)
Little boy: You know, she was this holocaust victim who lived in an attic and wrote this diary?
(pause)
Mother: I mean, I’ve read about the holocaust, but I don’t know any specific authors.
–Smith & Sackett, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: David
Girl #1: I know “impactful” isn’t a word, but what would be a word that means that?
Girl #2: Hold on, I’m coming over there. I can’t think in the air.
–9th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Laguna
Teacher: Who was the first African-American woman court justice?
Girl: Judge Judy!
–Leon M. Goldstein High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert
