Guy on cell: I don’t think it’s time yet to do the professional intervention thing. I mean if she drops down below 90, then maybe it’s time. But I’d like to her get down to 95, then she would be hot. As long as she doesn’t lose those 5 in her tits. Shit, she has nice tits.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Man: When I told her I worked for the State of New York she seemed to
lose interest.
–F train
Chick: Every time Todd talks to a girl he thinks he’s on a date.
–9th Street between 1st & 2nd
Teen boy: You know where I wanna go? The Marriott. Have you heard of it? It’s in New Jersey.
Teen girl: Oh yeah, you know where I wanna go? The Poconos.
Teen boy: What’s that?
Teen girl: I don’t know, a hotel?
–Health Opportunities High School, South Bronx
Woman #1: So she told me, “I think Simon de Beauvoir was so brave for a man, to write like that.” Can you believe it?
Woman #2: Oh my god.
Woman #1: How can she get a PhD without knowing who Simone de Beauvoir was?
–NYSC, Madison & 36th
Overheard by: J-Ho
Guy: What do you like, then? What do you like?
Girl: Progressive rock.
Guy: “Progressive”? Meaning…to change with the times?
Girl: Yes, I guess as opposed to conservative rock.
Guy: There is a conservative rock?
–Barnard College elevator
Overheard by: tiddlypomtiddlypom
Guy: Do you know what the word “ontological” means?
Chick: Yeah…I have seen it before…
Guy: Yeah. Me too.
Chick: Is it like an orange?
Guy: Yeah…Well, it’s something weird like that.
Chick: I know what you mean.
–Hungarian Pastry Shop, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Marie Favorita
Woman: Oh god, I hope nobody takes that out of context.
Man: Takes what out of context?
Woman: A thing I just thought.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
Teen girl: I would like to. Notwithstanding, I–
Old lady: Never say “notwithstanding” in New York. Too long a word for here.
Teen girl: Why the heck…?
Old lady: Notwithstanding and two financial empires have already
collapsed! Where are you from, by the way?
Teen girl: Missoula, Montana.
Old lady: You’re making my point, darling!…So, Redford says “notwithstanding”? No kidding?
Teen girl: Robert lives in Utah.
–Trump Tower elevator, 56th & 5th
Overheard by: Bertrand Latour
Chick: Wait, people are still inside.
Professor lady: I should do a head count. 2, 4, 6…Wait, I don’t know how many people we started with.
–22nd & 11th
