Waitress: Do you have a baby in that bag?
Teen girl: No, I have books.
Waitress: Oh, well, it’s almost like a baby.
–Chat ‘n’ Chew, East 16th Street
Overheard by: Tourist in Town
Waitress: Do you have a baby in that bag?
Teen girl: No, I have books.
Waitress: Oh, well, it’s almost like a baby.
–Chat ‘n’ Chew, East 16th Street
Overheard by: Tourist in Town
Teen boy: Somewhere out there…someone is getting laid.
–Empire State Building
Woman on cell: Caviar? Nigga, ain’t no caviar in Harlem.
–57th & 8th
Tween girl: The thing most people don’t get about techno is, it’s so emotional.
–76th & 2nd
Overheard by: Rachel
Teen girl: God, you are so self-conscious sometimes I want to punch you in the face.
–A train
Overheard by: Niki
Teen girl #1: What’s a “fortnight”?
Teen girl #2: It’s British for “ten days”; like, “I’ll be gone for a fortnight.”
Teen girl #1: Oh yeah, that makes total sense.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: GGary
Tween boy: Would you like to buy some candy?
Woman #1: No.
Woman #2: No thanks.
Tween boy: Okay, how about a threesome?
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: rhett
Teen girl #1: We’re not going to KFC! Their food is, like, poison.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, they kill their chickens alive.
–96th & Lexington
Overheard by: AG
Girl: Excuse me, do you have any biographies of TuPac?
Library guy: Probably, though they’d be with the other biographies on the second floor.
Dude: But isn’t this the fiction section?
Library guy: It is. You might be able to find some books about him in non-fiction.
Girl: “Non-fiction”?
Library guy: Non-fiction means true.
Dude: …And fiction means false.
Library guy: Sort of.
Girl: So if it’s in non-fiction then that means he must still be alive.
Library guy: I don’t think you understand.
–Brooklyn Public Library, Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: Matthew Sahd Mohammed
Teen girl #1: Do they card here?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, but they don’t card the Asians.
Teen girl #1: Isn’t that racist?
Teen girl #2: No, that’s like…affirmative action or something like that.
–M2M, East 11th Street
Overheard by: evan t
