High school girl #1: So he is definitely going to turn out gay.
High school girl #2: Come on. He is not going to be gay. You just think that because he is a nice, well-dressed boy.
High school girl #1: Um, exactly.
High school girl #2: Well, he is Asian! All the guys in Asia wear makeup!
High school girl #1: Stop talking. He’s only half-Asian. And gay.
–Broadway
Hobo to bunch of hipster teenagers in line for a show: Is this the line for a shelter?
Teenagers: No.
Mini hipster girl, after he goes away: Oh, hell no. Did he just think I was homeless? I'm wearing fucking American Apparel.
–Bowery & Delancy
Tween girl: No, it's "Yiddish"! "Yiddish," not "ribbit."
–Penn Station
Overheard by: ragnvaeig
20-something girl to older friend: No, no… "ghetto" is just slang–it's not a real word.
–PATH Train
Guy on cell: Yo. (pause) Yo, yo. (pause) Yo, yo. (pause) Yo, yo, yo.
–Pacific St & Atlantic Ave
Overheard by: jayloo
Guy to another, who has obviously caused him some emotional strife: I just don't understand why you had to did me so dirty.
–Hudson River Park
Teenage boy: But I ain't know where was them talkin' about it! (teenage friend nods sympathetically)
–Downtown 6 Train
Girl to guy: It must be your manstinct. (pause) Not ya manstink!
–Central Park
Teen girl: What time does TRL tape?
Street vendor: What time do you watch it?
Teen girl: 4 o’clock.
Street vendor: What does the L stand for?
–Times Square
Overheard by: mark manne
Teen girl, observing scantily clothed Inca healer: Gosh, Mom, didn’t they have any decency?
Mom: Well, all this was before Adam and Eve.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: not a history major
Brooklyn guy to buddy: Man, that chick is the hottest chick in the whole world. Well, except one — Ariel. Ohhh, Ariel. You know, the little mermaid?
–31st St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Will
Guy: Man, if a girl is hot enough that you want get with her, and she’s single… You know she’s gotta be fucked up in the head.
–C train
Girl on cell: Oh, yeah, he was so hot. I made eye contact with him, like, two times, so I guess we’re basically dating now.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Audrey Monaco
Trendy teen: Down Syndrome is so hot right now!
–Tompkins Square Park
Woman on cell: But how hot can a cactus get?
–Bed, Bath & Beyond
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy: You only think she’s hot because her family has money.
–26th St & 8th Ave
(teen #1 presses the 26th floor button. Teen #2 presses 21-25th floors for fun)
Teen #1: Dude, what the hell did you do that for?! You're an idiot, I hope you fall off my roof and die!
(pause)
Teen #3, seriously: Can we unpress it?
–Elevator, Bay Ridge
Teenage nerd: My boss and my dealer have the same name. One time I called my boss asking for weed, and he was like "hey!" and I was like "yo, lemme cop" and he was like "I think you have the wrong number" and I hung up.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: joy
Yuppie 30-something in black coat and white scarf: I'm going crazy! I've got his dealer's number programmed into my phone, but I can't remember her name, so if I call, I won't know who to ask for. And you have to know who to ask for, or they'll think you're a cop!
–16th St & 7th Ave
Loud, mildly intoxicated girl at dinner: People who litter are so much worse than drug dealers.
–Brooklyn
Lady on cell: Tourism is the only industry that doesn't depend on drug cartels.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Diaz
Teenage boy to friend: So when I was walking by the store I saw this guy being dragged out in handcuffs.
Friend: Shit, why didn't you call the cops or something?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: areyouserious?
Teen chick: Man, I take the quickest shits ever. Sometimes I wish I could stay on the bowl for hours, you know? Really enjoy my shit.
Friend: You’re fucked.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lindsey
