All the World’s a Wednesday and the People Merely One-Liners

Loud angsty teen boy: My life is a tragedy and I’m only in act two!

–LaGuardia High School

Overheard by: He’s no Shakespeare…

Actor: I almost woke up dead this morning. But I don’t have an understudy.

–Gallery Players, Park Slope

Overheard by: Emily B.

Guy: …and grimace could play Mary Magdalene.

–Lincoln Center

Shake Shack patron: It was like Menopause: The musical.

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Queer on cell: Honey, if you thought Menopause was funny, you are gonna piss yo pants at The Vagina Monologues!

–Walgreens, Union Square

Flyer guy to girl with Rent shirt: Why you gonna go see Rent? Have you seen it yet? The gay guy dies. Woo!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Minerva

Stagehand: Julliard is a school. It’s not like Spamalot.

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Emily B.

Posted on January 15, 2015
Actors, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Death, Depressed, Fast Times at New York High, Flyer people, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Gripes, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Park Slope, Queer guys, School and studying, Store, Teens, Theater, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

He Must Use the Metric System

Teen girl: So how big are you?
Teen guy: Oh, I’m 5’6″ or 5’7″.

–F train

Overheard by: Jessica S

Posted on January 14, 2015
Idiots, On the Subway, Penis, Teens

…To Fuck the Statuary!

Crazy old hobo, holding up bags and drawing: Where's the moon? Where's the moon? If the earth is in Columbus Circle, then the moon would be on 64th and Central Park West! Come see my exhibition!
Hipster teen surrounded by giggling friends: Is your exhibition inside those bags?
Crazy old hobo: No, those are Michelle Obama's dresses. You want to be smart with me? Why don't you be smart and become an exhibitionist?
Hipster teen surrounded by giggling friends: Do you know what “exhibitionist” means?
Crazy old hobo: Of course! It's someone who goes to museums every day!

–1 Train

Posted on January 12, 2015
About Celebrities, Clothing, Crazies, Friends, Global Geography, Hipsters, Hobos, Old People, On the Subway, Questions, Teens, Visual Art, Weirdness, Words

…For Valium.

Teen #1: Aaww, don't worry…
Teen #2: Be happy?
Teen #1: Yeah!
Teen #2: Where did that start anyway?
Teen #3: Some old commercial.

–Q Train

Overheard by: A bit saddened

Posted on January 11, 2015
Happiness, On the Subway, Questions, Teens, TV

He’s Gay on His Mother’s Side

High school girl #1: So he is definitely going to turn out gay.
High school girl #2: Come on. He is not going to be gay. You just think that because he is a nice, well-dressed boy.
High school girl #1: Um, exactly.
High school girl #2: Well, he is Asian! All the guys in Asia wear makeup!
High school girl #1: Stop talking. He’s only half-Asian. And gay.

–Broadway

Posted on January 11, 2015
Queer guys, Students, Teens

It's Recycled Fabric, Motherfucker!

Hobo to bunch of hipster teenagers in line for a show: Is this the line for a shelter?
Teenagers: No.
Mini hipster girl, after he goes away: Oh, hell no. Did he just think I was homeless? I'm wearing fucking American Apparel.

–Bowery & Delancy