Two girls are looking at Bibles.
Girl #1: There are so many.
Girl #2: Get a smaller one.
Girl #1: I don’t really care how big it is.
Girl #2: The small ones are cute.
Girl #1: I don’t care. I just want it to be a good story, ya know?
Girl #2: I don’t even know what I believe anymore.
–Barnes & Noble, 86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Shannon
Teen girl #1: I feel like I need to expose you to some culture. Have you heard the latest Miley Cyrus?
Teen girl #2: That's not the kind of culture I want to be exposed to.
–R Train
Texan teen #1: Look! Look over there!
Texan teen #2: Where?! I don’t see it! What?! [Texan teen #1 points to man playing keyboard and singing.] Ohhh my god! He’s singin’! Cooool! Wow! God!
–Port Authority station
14-year-old black boy: Can we get off this block? I hate this block! I hate cops!
11-year-old black boy: Why?
14-year-old black boy: Because it’s in black people’s nature to hate cops.
11-year-old black boy, after long pause: So, you want to be a cop?
–123rd & 8th
Overheard by: Tanya
Headline by: kai
Runners-Up:
· “And Before the Session’s Over Let’s Talk About How You Hate Yo Momma ’cause She So Fat.” – JohnnyB
· “Fuck It. You Wanna Play Robbers and Robbers?” – La Libertad
· “If They Can Beat You, Join ’em” – Sim Etrias
· “Look What It Did for Ice T” – Otter
Kid to another: Stephen king is the best autha, yo. But Danielle Steele is the best girl autha, yo.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Joel
Teen to friend: Santa's a well-read dude, but they won't let him pee.
–5th Ave Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Dude Santa
Ghetto chick: Yeah, maybe mama will actually buy a book…one day.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Guy trying to push "free literature": This book is really important. It was the book that Gandhi followed. Do you know who Gandhi is? He's like the Indian Martin Luther King.
–L Train
Man reading Richard Scarry's What Do People Do All Day?: What? Poets do not write poetry all day! They work shitty jobs in design firms and sell things to assholes from San Diego! (turns page) And writers don't write all day! They pick up laundry for Park Slope bitches!
–Children's Section, Barnes & Noble, Court Street
Overheard by: Amused Bookseller
Teen girl: My dad told me that pee was nutritious.
Friend: Oh? Pee's only like 95% water and 5% waste. I don't think there's any nutrition in it.
Teen girl: Oh.
(a few minutes later)
Teen girl: Do you think pee would taste like sugar if all you ate were sugar and water?
Friend: Then wouldn't the pee be like 95% water and 5% sugar?
–6 Train
Bully: What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? Why are you jacking me?
Scared Russian teen: I don’t know what that means!
–D Train
Teen girl: I asked George what his cousin looked like. He said, “He looks like me but with hazel eyes.” How the hell am I supposed to know what he looks like? I don’t know no one with hazel eyes.
–Lincoln Center
Random hipster: If David Bowie had wheels, how much would you pay to ride on him?
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: haxromana
Scrawny hipster dude to another: All I'm saying is: I want to be in a position where I'm not liking it, and I know he's not liking it either.
–Troutman & Evergreen
Overheard by: Kristen
Hipster: I was much more desperate in Chicago.
–6 Train
Hipster kid: I'm just afraid that my sweatshirt isn't edgy enough.
–SoundFix Records, Brooklyn
Overheard by: chelce
Teenager: He's having a hard time dealing with being a hipster.
–Columbus Circle
Middle aged theater-goer to teenage boy dressed as renaissance page: Are you a part of the performance?
Page boy: Nay, nay. Far from it.
Middle aged theater-goer: What?
Page boy: Nay, nay. Far from it.
Middle aged theater-goer: Then why are you dressed like that?
Page boy: I'm just an eccentric patron.
Middle aged theater-goer: Oh.
Page boy: Someone has to play the part of eccentric patron.
Middle aged theater-goer: Well, good for you. High-five me, if that's not too far out of your century.
–Schubret Theater
