Young teenage boy to friend: Man, I fuckin' hate this job. I'd make more money bein' a drug dealer or somethin'.
Hobo: I used to think the same way as you.
Young teenage boy's friend: So you became a drug dealer and ruined your life?
Hobo: No, I fuckin' went to college and ruined my life.
–1 Train
Older guy: This is classic Tupac before the gangsta rap.
High school girl: What you listenin’ to him for? He dead.
–31st & 7th
Headline by: Andrea
Runners-Up:
· “And Besides, His Grammar Is Sub-par” – Louis
· “John Edwards Radio: Dead Artists, Unfinished Buisness” – diana
· “My Anti-posthumousness Rule Also Applies to Literature. Shakespeare? Who Dat?” – Michelle
· “So? 3 Out Of 4 Americans Listen to That Jesus Guy!” – kh
Teenage boy: Did you know that “woman” spelled backwards is “kitchen”?
Female suit with briefcase: Go fuck yourself.
–Times Square
High school chick: I don’t have any problems — I’m just bipolar! [To neighboring table] Hi! Wanna hear a joke?
–Georgia Diner, Queens Blvd
Overheard by: cracking up
Teen boy: I wanna get an American Eagle sweater.
Teen girl: I wanna punch you in the face.
–R train, Bay Ridge Ave
Train conductor: This is Dyckman Street.
Rotten little teenager (somehow getting on loudspeaker): Dyckman Street, yo! Suck my motherfuckin' dick!
(passengers all bewildered)
Train conductor, on next stop: This is 207th Street. Sorry, that was some kid in the back of the train, not me.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Kyle Crocodile
Teen girl in cross-colors #1: That's the thing about gay dudes! They have the best comebacks!
Teen girl in cross-colors #2: I know!
–Flatbush Ave & St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Eric S
Hipster guy: Dude, he always blames it on the train dispatcher. He needs to own his problems, you know?
–F train
Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo
Teen boy: I like touching fat people.
–69th St & 5th Ave, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Guy to friends: So I was on the subway the other day and I was counting some guys’ chins and I realized, I’m just not a nice person.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: CUMT
Large black woman on cell: Of course I’m loud, I’m fat!
–25th & 8th
Overheard by: Beckerman
Chick to guy: I’m thinking of keeping it, as an excuse to get fat.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ladle
30-something with heavy NYC accent: Ya know, if I had to do high school all over again, I woulda fucked a fat chick. I wouldna cared so much.
–34th & 5th
Man yelling on cell: I would be so much better at Jeopardy then her! Her fat Indian hands can’t hit the button as fast as I can!
–35rd St & 5th Ave
Female house manager: He comes over and he’s like: "What are you doing?" and I said: "My job." and he goes: "You’re fat."
–Theater, St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Mariah
Chick on cell: Yeah, I'm like a hardcore rollerblader now. I just haven't learned how to stop yet.
–44th & 3rd
Steroid Freak: So I was hanging from his torso and then we tried to insert the triangle…
–25th & Lexington
Young man to friend: He likes me, he likes my style… he wants me to contort my limbs on a float.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Eyeteeth
Bored teenage girl (from 2nd story window): Hello, Mr Runner man! You've got a long way to go! I see you across the street there, wearing all black. These are words of encouragement! I support your acts of fitness!
–Vanderbilt & Bergen
Overheard by: Jilly
Female power-walker with cigarette: I used to be able to make a mile in under 7, but that was, you know, way back in college, before the job and the (runs out of breath) …way back.
–Prospect Park Loop
Overheard by: EmLo
