Teen #1: Is it legal for someone to fuck someone under 18?
Teen #2: Uh, I think so.
Teen #1: Oh, okay.
–7th & Broadway
Teen #1: Is it legal for someone to fuck someone under 18?
Teen #2: Uh, I think so.
Teen #1: Oh, okay.
–7th & Broadway
Teenage tourist #1: Why are American toilets so dirty?
Teenage tourist #2: Because people want to sue.
–Broome Street, Bathroom Line
Overheard by: The Messenger
Teen boy: “Romanian”? What’s that, Italian?
–N train
Teen boy #1: Fuck, these fucking Fig Newtons taste like shit. And what the fuck is a fig, anyway?
Teen boy #2: I don’t know, but whatever the fuck it is, it looks like you’re eating a shit cookie.
–51st between 9th & 10th
White woman to friend: Wow, this is a great place to meet straight people!
–Madison Square Garden
Dude to female passenger: If I was straight, I'd be hitting that, but I'm not straight, so I won't be hitting that.
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Maggie
Yelling blonde: What's my type? He should be straight, that's my type.
–68th & Columbus
Amateur philosopher: If I wasn't straight, I'd totally be gay.
–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Headaches
Teen girl to friend: They're not gay! They're just old!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Peter
Older black man to nobody in particular: Ain't nothin' done changed in two-hundred years! White folks is still goin' round makin' a mess and then makin' a black man come in and clean up after them…
–Post Office, Gun Hill & Jerome, The Bronx
Asian girl: Do white people eat sandwiches for dinner?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Spec
Black teen girl: If a sister is feeding a white bitch, you know she is fucked up.
–T.G.I. Friday's
Overheard by: Chris K
Black chick: But can a Frenchman be a honky?
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Hunter
Linguistically savvy hobo: The term "cracker" originated from a man named Robert Whitely. It was used to refer to people as "white trash".
–37th & 3rd
Latina woman to elderly mother: We gonna find you a seat soon, mami. If I gotta beat up white bitches… Let's go.
–3rd & 1st
Overheard by: j
Jappy highschool queen bee to Starbucks guy wearing earrings: Are those real diamonds?
Twentysomething African-American Starbucks guy: No.
Jappy highschool queen bee: Awwww I’ll mail you some real ones for your Bar Mitzvah, okay?
–Stabrucks, 78th & Lex
Girl: I’m going to bed when I get home.
Mom: OK, if I get up before you and I want to do something fun, then should I wake you up?
Girl: It depends on what “fun” is. If it’s one of your ninety-seven Starbucks runs, then no. If it’s chasing the dog around the house going “Eeeeee!” then, yeah, sure.
–B train
Teen girl #1: So, my boyfriend told me that if I didn’t have sex with him, he’d break up with me. So I did, but then he broke up with me anyway. I don’t understand!
Teen girl #2: Well, maybe you were really bad at it.
–43rd & 7th
Teenage bride-to-be on cell: …yeah. But, no, I’m totally ready to walk across the aisle.
–Target, South Bronx
Overheard by: so this is the bronx
Suit: You expect me to spend the rest of my life with only one woman? One woman? One godforsaken woman?
–42nd St & Madison
Hula hoop guy to tourist couple: Sir! I’ll show you! You don’t have to do it, but hula hoops have saved a lot of marriages!
–Washington Square Park
Old woman to imaginary friend: I’d make a great wife, mothafucka!
–F train
Overheard by: Trying Not to Laugh
Girl: Can I do your brother at one of your weddings?
–Monitor St, Brooklyn
Young woman on cell: Well yeah, but he didn’t sleep with your bridesmaids.
–82nd & Lex
Man on cell: Ok, fine! You want to get married?
–Upper West Side
