Dude, Nobody Listens to The Wednesday One-Liners Anymore

Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: Korky

20-something girl: I'm a teenager! I collect pogs and say "suck it," and listen to Kriss Kross!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Claire H.

Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.

–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre

Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it."

–Chambers St Subway Station

Overheard by: sarah

Trendy girl: I can't believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess "Don't Stop Believing" and "We Are the Champions"… basically any Queen song.

–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place

Overheard by: Any Britney Song

20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don't dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.

–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway

Posted on October 15, 2014
9 to 5-ers, About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Fashionistas, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Money & Class, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Store, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Theater, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

But the Pressure of Your Gaze Is Unwelcome

Thugette #1: I don’t care if Jake is smaller than him — I ain’t lettin’ him in my ass.
Thugette #2: You can cum from it. [Cool British guy turns to look at them as he passes.]Thugette #1: What you looking at?
Cool British guy: Would you really like me to answer that?
Thugette #1, sheepishly: No.

–Times Square

Posted on October 10, 2014
Backdoor, Foreigners, Ghetto Chicks, Insults, Times Square

A Cautionary Tale About Mushrooms

Tourist #1: Isn't it smurf that when you talk like a smurf people still smurf what you want to smurf?
Tourist #2: What?

–Times Square

Posted on October 7, 2014
Language Barrier, Stupidity, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, TV, Wishes & desires

Single White Kidney Stone

Breakfast lady: So it's like me and her have the same health history.
Breakfast parents: Oh, yeah?
Breakfast lady: Yeah, I had just come home from the doctor and I called her, and I was telling her what happened and she goes “oh my god! I have to pass stones, too!” Her doctor said it may be hereditary, though.

–Marriott, Times Square

Posted on October 6, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Families, Health and Hygiene, Hotels, Medicine, Parents, Times Square

When Crying “Wolf” Got Old, Peter Turned to This

Man on the street: Jesus loves you!
Teenage boy: I know he does!
Man on the street: Jesus is coming!
Teenage boy: Jesus is always coming.
Man on the street: He’s really coming this time!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Maya G.

Posted on October 3, 2014
Boys, Compare/Contrast, Default, God Squad, Jesus, Preachers, Teens, Times Square

He’s Got an Urgent 1 O’Clock to Get To

Hobo: You have a quarter for a cup of coffee?
Suit: Excuse me, can’t you see I’m on the phone?
Hobo: I don’t have time for games!

–42nd & 7th

Posted on October 2, 2014
Anger Management, Hobos, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On Cell, Suits, Times Square

Should We Stop for Some Cocktails and Wait It Out?

Mom: Shit, it's raining!
Four-year-old: Fuck!

–Times Square

Overheard by: leah

Posted on October 2, 2014
Insults, Kids, Moms, Should've Used a Condom, Times Square, Weather

And, While He's Fucking Me, Scream Out, “I'm Straaaiiiight!”

Obviously gay guy: But I'm not gay.
Slightly less gay friend: Yes you are.
Obviously gay guy: No, it's not about the male genitalia. It's about finding someone who fits me like a puzzle piece.
Slightly less gay friend: Who just happens to have a penis.
Obviously gay guy: Yeah.
Slightly less gay friend: Mmm-hmm.

–Roxy, Times Square

Overheard by: Token

Posted on September 26, 2014
Delis, Gays and Lesbians, Penis, Private Parts, Queer guys, Times Square

Do They Have Pills to Make You Funnier?

Promoter: Are you ladies interested in a comedy show tonight?
Girl: Not tonight.
Promoter: Ya know, that's called “bipolar.” They have pills for that.

–Times Square

Posted on September 23, 2014
Comebacks, Girls, Psychology, Strangers, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers

They'll Make You the Life of the Party

(looking at the blown up condoms)
Boy: Dad, I don't think those are balloons.
Dad: No, they're balloons.

–Nokia Theatre

Overheard by: Kristina

Posted on September 21, 2014
Boys, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Dads, Default, Kids, Lies, Questions, Theater, Times Square