Thugette #1: I don’t care if Jake is smaller than him — I ain’t lettin’ him in my ass.
Thugette #2: You can cum from it. [Cool British guy turns to look at them as he passes.]Thugette #1: What you looking at?
Cool British guy: Would you really like me to answer that?
Thugette #1, sheepishly: No.
–Times Square
Tourist #1: Isn't it smurf that when you talk like a smurf people still smurf what you want to smurf?
Tourist #2: What?
–Times Square
Breakfast lady: So it's like me and her have the same health history.
Breakfast parents: Oh, yeah?
Breakfast lady: Yeah, I had just come home from the doctor and I called her, and I was telling her what happened and she goes “oh my god! I have to pass stones, too!” Her doctor said it may be hereditary, though.
–Marriott, Times Square
Man on the street: Jesus loves you!
Teenage boy: I know he does!
Man on the street: Jesus is coming!
Teenage boy: Jesus is always coming.
Man on the street: He’s really coming this time!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Maya G.
Hobo: You have a quarter for a cup of coffee?
Suit: Excuse me, can’t you see I’m on the phone?
Hobo: I don’t have time for games!
–42nd & 7th
Mom: Shit, it's raining!
Four-year-old: Fuck!
–Times Square
Overheard by: leah
Obviously gay guy: But I'm not gay.
Slightly less gay friend: Yes you are.
Obviously gay guy: No, it's not about the male genitalia. It's about finding someone who fits me like a puzzle piece.
Slightly less gay friend: Who just happens to have a penis.
Obviously gay guy: Yeah.
Slightly less gay friend: Mmm-hmm.
–Roxy, Times Square
Overheard by: Token
Promoter: Are you ladies interested in a comedy show tonight?
Girl: Not tonight.
Promoter: Ya know, that's called “bipolar.” They have pills for that.
–Times Square
(looking at the blown up condoms)
Boy: Dad, I don't think those are balloons.
Dad: No, they're balloons.
–Nokia Theatre
Overheard by: Kristina
Guy #1: I got some dirt on my shoulder. Can you brush it off for me?
Guy #2: I ain’t yo’ maid, bitch!
–Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: Jace
