Tween girl: Mom you’re not a tease if you give it up, you’re a slut. Jesse’s a slut, I’m a tease.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: S-dawg
Tween girl: Mom you’re not a tease if you give it up, you’re a slut. Jesse’s a slut, I’m a tease.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: S-dawg
Young professional woman, trying in vain to flag a cab uptown: I should have worn something sluttier today.
–25th & Park
Overheard by: Mike S
Business woman: All I need are some pasties, Daisy Dukes, and some four-inch heels. Then I’ll get a promotion.
–43rd & Lex
Overheard by: I thought that she worked in an office
Girl: The place is Salsa-ey, so dress a little slutty.
–St. Mark’s & 3rd
Overheard by: Ronnie Q
Tween girl in hot-pants and tight shirt: I can’t buy that. My mom doesn’t let me wear baggy clothes.
–Target, Atlantic Center, Brooklyn
Chick: I want hooker boots… but not in the heels. I want flats.
–Hunter College
Conservative guy: The second smartest person in this country is Ann Coulter. And let me tell you, she looks good in a pair of tight pants and Manolos at 2:30 in the morning.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: Stupid Liberal Hottie
Chick on cell: Well, then I don’t feel so bad about going in a little vinyl skirt if you’re just going to be wearing underwear.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McFreaky
Tween #1: You called me gay? I’ll sue you!
Tween #2: You’re gay for even saying that.
–Elizabeth & Mott
Overheard by: stephin’ out
Kinderslut #1: You wanna know the secret to having big boobs?
Kinderslut #2: Fuck, yes, you know how flat-chested I am!
Kinderslut #1: Mom and I are very well endowed, so I asked her if it was genetic or something else.
Kinderslut #2: And?
Kinderslut #1: Peanut butter.
Kinderslut #2: You’re shittin’ me! Are you sure?
Kinderslut #1: Yes! I’ve been eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all my life. So has my mom, and you see.
Kinderslut #2: Could be the jelly.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: angie
Tween girl: Is this sleepwear for fat people or regular people?
Mother: Honey, fat people are regular people.
Tween girl: Whatever.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: A regular person
Brooklyn guy: All I’m sayin’ is it goes without sayin’.
–Brooklyn bound D train
Overheard by: Robert Barry Francos
Hoochie on cell: I don’t want that. I’m looking for sauce. Sauce sauce sauce sauce sauce! S-A-U-S-C-E. Sauce!
–Waldbaum’s, Whitestone, Queens
Overheard by: Liz the Overheardista
Teen girl: Do you think Christmas will ever be on Friday the 13th?
–Times Square
Woman in elevator: She said 13…Where’s 13? What the… fuck? There’s no 13. Should I press 12? Or 14? What?…She said 13. Well I’ll just press both.
–22nd & Broadway
Overheard by: staring at the button for 13
Elderly woman, regarding painting: Would you look at the detail he put into this. It almost looks two dimensional.
–The Met
Overheard by: s.gothman
Tween boy: Did the dinosaurs come before or after Bible times?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Omg! He did not just ask that!
Tweeny future emo boy: The fucking problem with Hamlet is that the real tragedy is Laertes, not the goddamn Prince of Denmark.
Tweeny future fag hag girl: It’s the tragedy of the Prince of Denmark. That’s what it’s called.
TFE boy: Hamlet kills the guy’s father, sister, and then him. Who has the real tragedy?
TFFH girl: Mel Gibson?
–Outside Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Marc
Tween boy: Mom! Let’s go already!
Mom: If you’re so bored, go play in traffic.
–Victoria’s Secret, Lincoln Center
Tween boy #1: Do you want to rent Madagascar?
Tween boy #2: No, I’ve seen it.
Tween boy #1: So?
Tween boy #2: I don’t like watching movies I’ve seen already.
Tween boy #1: How about Ice Age?
Tween boy #2: Seen it.
Tween boy #1, to video clerk: Do you have Bridge Over the River Kwai?
–video store, Carroll Gardens
Tween to her mom: Oh look, it’s those shoes you can eat! Wait, can you eat them? Oh, no, these aren’t the edible ones.
–Payless, Upper West Side
Overheard by: embarrassed to have been in payless
