Guy: I don’t need a bag, thanks.
Store lady: You’re going to carry that in your hand?
Guy: Yeah.
Store lady: That’s fine with me. I love customers who don’t want bags.
Guy: Why waste them, right?
Store lady: Yeah. People need to recycle. They keep cutting down more and more trees for these bags.
Guy: …Yeah.
Store lady: Plastic bags are made out of trees, right?
Guy: …Well, no…
Store lady: Oh, I think it’s paper bags that are made out of trees.
–Duane Reade, 22nd & Park
Girl: Come sign for this. I can’t, I’m not 21 yet.
Guy: It’s a bookstore, nigga, not the Feds!
–The Strand
Woman: Wait, aren’t dinosaurs mammals?
Man: Um. They’re reptiles, honey.
Woman: Oh. Right.
Man: You have two master’s degrees?
Woman: But not in lizardology!
–Union Square
Overheard by: djlindee
Teen girl #1: Do they card here?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, but they don’t card the Asians.
Teen girl #1: Isn’t that racist?
Teen girl #2: No, that’s like…affirmative action or something like that.
–M2M, East 11th Street
Overheard by: evan t
Mom: Did she tell you to pee in your pants?
Little girl: No.
Mom: Then she didn’t make you.
–Tompkins Square Park
Woman on cell: Hold on, I have to juggle, I’m pushing a stroller, walking the dog and holding a big bag of poop.
–189th & Broadway
Drunk girl: What kind of guys do you like?…What kind of guys do you like? I like guys with big tits.
–2nd Avenue & 11th Street
Overheard by: vegantoast
Construction guy: Well, she didn’t sound Chinese over the phone.
–Fulton & William
Dude #1: We were discussing the Holocaust in my class, and there was this really hot guy in it, and all I could think about was fucking him.
Dude #2: Fucking a guy in the Holocaust? Ew.
–1st Avenue & 12th Street
Guy: It’s not that I’m against marriage. I mean, I like weddings.
–Sammy’s Roumanian Steakhouse, Chrystie Street
