Guy: Here’s a muffin.
Hobo: I don’t eat cake.
–3rd Avenue between Stuyvesant & St. Mark’s
Guy: Here’s a muffin.
Hobo: I don’t eat cake.
–3rd Avenue between Stuyvesant & St. Mark’s
Hobo: Hey, any of you fellas got a match?
Drunk guy: Yeah I got a match, my ass and your face!
Hobo: I hear ya.
–3rd Avenue and 9th Street
Girl #1: What if you were so obsessed with Rent that you carried the CD around everywhere?
Girl #2: That’s actually kinda cool.
Girl #1: And wore a cloak?
–Irving Plaza
Woman: So how was the blind date?
Man: Ugh, you know. He’s tall, white, and a vegan. The same as every man in this world.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Mike Drucker
Little girl: But I’m not on line for Harry Potter; I want to go to the bathroom!
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place
Woman on cell: For five years you wouldn’t marry me because your mother was sick. Well, your mother’s fucking dead and you still won’t marry me!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Robbie
Goombah: So what? I went and had a couple beers with Junior! You know what? Fuck you, bitch! I want you outta my house when I get home!
–Brooklyn Heights
Man on cell: So what has changed from then to now?…of course! The vibrator! So that’s it, huh?
–Central Park
Overheard by: jeannette
Guy: That’s one of the reasons I had to dump her. I’d see all these
girls on the street and be like, “Hey now!”
–Broadway & Spring
Guy on cell: I moved all the way here and now you won’t even marry me?
–Broadway & 57th
Girl: I’d fuck a big midget.
Guy: A big midget is a normal person.
–St. Mark’s between 1st & A
Overheard by: Lindsay
Pretty boy: Well, it’s good money, but I don’t want to do it too much, because I don’t want people to think I’m like them.
Unpretty boy: Who, the other male models?
Pretty boy: I am not a male model! I am an actor! I just do it for the money.
Unpretty boy: Sure, sure, it’s just a gig, man.
Pretty boy: I am not a male model!
–14th & 7th
Girl #1: Oh my god, I really need to shit so bad, there’s no way I can meet him like this!
Girl #2: Go in there, I’m sure they’ll let you, you know…
Girl #1: They have cockroaches in there; I’d never put my ass down where there are cockroaches.
Girl #2: But you’d put your ass down where there’s cock.
Girl #1: Maybe…but not with so much junk up there right now.
–7th & A
Guy #1: Hi, I’m Bryan.
Guy #2: I’m Brian too!
Guy #1: I’m Bryan with a Y.
Guy #2: I’m Brian with a B.
–Wonderbar, Avenue A
