Chick #1: Jessica, I’m not kidding, he looked like a beaver!
Chick #2: Christine, that’s vulgar!
Chick #1: No, but seriously — like a chipmunk!
Chick #2: But why wouldn’t you say ‘chipmunk’ instead?
Chick #1: Because he seriously looked like a real beaver!
–77th & Madison
Woman: Is that Perhaps?
Man: What?
Woman: Is that Perhaps?
Man: “Perhaps“?
Woman: Yeah, there’s this dog called Perhaps that hangs around here. Yours looks just like it.
–Carl Schurz Park, Upper East Side
Overheard by: guillermo echevarria
Man: Yeah, I know, I’m still getting over it too. I just can’t believe he won. I mean, Bush is the Ed Wood of politics.
–88th b. Lex & 3rd
Overheard by: Terence
Old lady: I just heard the concert in the park.
Checkout girl: Oh yeah, who was playing?
Old lady: The Philharmonic.
Checkout girl: Who?
Old lady: Philharmonic.
Checkout girl: Phil Harmonic? Was he good?
–Gristedes, 86th & Lex
Overheard by: lankyfool
Girl #1: I mean you're 15 years old, you've just been raped, and then you realize you're about to have a baby.
Girl #2: Well, in that case…
–The Met
Ghetto boy, pointing to fish in tank: When you say twelve cents, do you mean, like, twelve pennies?
Amused pet store worker: Yes, we mean twelve pennies.
–86th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Pet-co shopper
Guy #1: What’s that? A parking garage?
Guy #2 [alarmed]: That’s the Guggenheim!
–Across the street from the Guggenheim
Overheard by: Mary T Helmes Sheely
Guy #1: Well, you know, I am a Mets fan.
Guy #2: Dude, then you’re okay in my book. You could murder puppies and that’s okay so long as you’re a Mets fan!
Guy #3: Um, he does.
Guy #2: Exactly! You can totally murder puppies if you’re a Mets fan!
Guy #3: No, he really does.
Guy #2: Totally!
Guy #3: He’s a vet.
Guy #1: I am.
–Party, 74th & 1st
Woman #1: But not all Asian girls are pretty.
Woman #2: Oh I know, but he just thinks that, on a scale of 1-10, Asian girls start off with like a +10.
Woman #1: Oh, well that’s good, because most white guys just see that they’re Asian and don’t consider whether they’re really pretty or not.
–78th & Lexington
Dad: See that building, honey?
Little daughter: Yeah
Dad: It’s Hunter College. It’s where they train hunters! Elmer Fudd goes there.
Little daughter: Uh hum.
–M79 bus
