Jelly Roll Wednesday One-Liners

Chick: … So she had sex with both Rush Limbaugh and Bernie Kerik? Ewww, I wouldn’t want to be her vagina!

–10 E 53rd St

Overheard by: I thought ewww, too

Fat latina: You mean it don’t shake and jump up and down? Girl, what kinda clit do you have?

–Stanton & Clinton

Old guy sweeping sidewalk: You won’t see me begging for no pussy. No way.

–118th & 5th

Overheard by: robin b

Girl in skirt to boy, both standing in the cold: If you could see my undercarriage right now you would see that it’s quivering.

–21st & Broadway

Guy on cell: Yeah, girl. Well, just wait, ’cause I’m gonna terrorize your pussy tonight.

–Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Peter Rice

Lesbian: … So I was like, ‘Fine, bitch. You can shove your own fucking fingers up your own fucking cooch. I’m going to put on my clothes and sit in the corner and change my Facebook status…’

–Restroom, Stuyvesant High School

Teen boy: I ate too much pussy. Now I have pussy poisoning.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: sara swank

Posted on June 23, 2019
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Gays and Lesbians, Masturbation, Politics, Sex, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Even Better Than Vagemite

Drunk chick #1: I got sandwiches! This one has turkey and Grenada cheese.
Drunk chick #2: Did you just say “vagina cheese”?
Drunk chick #1: No, *Grenada* cheese.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Alex Remnick

Posted on April 23, 2019
Drunks, Girls, Junk Food & Fast Food, On the Subway, Questions, Vagina, Words

Total Cunt.

Teenager to friend: Well, her name is Alexandra, and I was not hooking up with her…
Random passerby, interrupting: Yeah, that's right, I once knew a girl named pussy!

–West Houston St

Overheard by: nickwe

Posted on April 12, 2019
Friends, Hook Ups, Names, Strangers, Teens, Vagina, Weirdness, West Village

“…Crap, I think I’m getting my period!”

Guy: Dammit, I forgot my iPod. Fucking cunt.
Girl: What?
Guy: Not you, my freakin’ head.

–Palladium elevator, East 14th Street

Overheard by: Rachel W.

Posted on March 31, 2019
Elevators, Insults, Nicknames & name calling, Vagina

The Global Pussy System Stands Ready to Fulfill Our Most Deviant Desires

Frat boy #1: Dude, let's get some pussy!
Frat boy #2: Where?
Frat boy #1: Use your GPS!

–4th St & MacDougal St

Posted on March 5, 2019
Frat Boys, Gadgets, Questions, Stupidity, The Village, Vagina

Kids Identify Your Buttons and Push Them without Mercy

Little girl in stall: Vagina!
Mother: Shhh!
Little girl: Vagina!
Mother: Shhh!
Little girl: Vagina! Vagina! Vagina!

–Ladies’ room, LaGuardia

Posted on March 3, 2019
Kids, LaGuardia Airport, Vagina, Words

Either Way, We're Talking About Small Leather Goods, Right?

Elderly lady #1, window shopping: What did you do with all your Gucci stuff?
Elderly lady #2: Coochie stuff? Why would I have coochie stuff?
Elderly lady #1: No, Gloria, I said “Gucci!”

–60th St b/w Madison & Park Ave

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on February 23, 2019
Harlem & Morningside Heights, Old People, Shopping, Vagina, Words

Life Is Like a Box of Wednesday One-Liners…

Man on cell: What did I do to you? I bought you a house and you don’t even wanna live in it!

–F Train

Overheard by: LC

Conductor, over intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, this train is overbooked. That’s just the way things are. Life is unfair.

–Amtrak Train, Penn Station

Overheard by: Ladle

Suit: There was a time in my life when I would have never tired of hearing the word "vagina". That time has passed.

–Staten Island Supreme Court

Conductor: Watch your step as you exit the train, and if you’re late, just remember that life is a lot like being on this train: we may not be there yet, but we’re getting there.

–2 Train

Overheard by: can this conductor drive my train every day please?

Posted on February 9, 2019
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Conductors, Gifts, Gripes, Home, Sweet Home, Men, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Penn Station, Public Transportation, Questions, Staten Island, Subway conductors, Suits, Time, Trains Not Subway, Vagina, Words

What's Your Sign, Wednesday One-Liner?

Young man to pretty girl with glasses eating hot dog: That hot dog matches your beautiful glasses!

–Hot Dog Stand, 34th St

Overheard by: gothchick

Dude to girls crossing street: Hey, miss ladies! Youse look nice out!

–Ludow & Stanton

Overheard by: M & J

Guy to girl passing by: El sexy-o! I know how to say it in Spanish, I wanna know how to say it in Caucasian!

–14th St & 1st Ave

Crazy guy: Hey, Snow White! Come talk to Black Beauty. Cuz you know vanilla and chocolate make a good fudge, girl.

–W 110th St

Overheard by: Ashley

Bro standing in sidewalk, harassing passing girls: Hello! I've been waiting all my life for you! Hello, where have you been all my life? Hello, I eat pussy. Hello, I've got money. Hello?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on November 20, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Columbia University, Compliments, Crazies, Food, Girls, Guys, Hot dog stands, Junk Food & Fast Food, Language Barrier, Lower East Side, Money & Class, One-liners, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Race, Strangers, Street, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Hey, Kiss My Wednesday One-Liners

Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!

–8th Ave & W 55th St

Overheard by: Fred Daubert

Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar.

–Uptown 6 train

Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser.

–NYU

Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds

Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?

–43rd & Lex

Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to.

–Washington Heights

Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!

–115th St & Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Melissa Berry

Posted on November 11, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Canadians, College, Dancing, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Eating Out, Fighting and ass kicking, Ghetto Chicks, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Manhattan, Marriage, Menstruation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, People, Pick-up Lines, Places, Private Parts, School, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Topics, Vagina