Vendor: I hate customers like you, with your big bills for a 95-cent drink.
Ghetto thug: I could always shoot your old ass, and have the soda for free if that makes making change any easier.
–207th & Broadway
Vendor: I hate customers like you, with your big bills for a 95-cent drink.
Ghetto thug: I could always shoot your old ass, and have the soda for free if that makes making change any easier.
–207th & Broadway
Girl #1: I wish I was anorexic.
Girl #2: I’m going to punch you so that your head ricochets against that door.
–F train
Overheard by: Gena Radcliffe
Ghetto teen: If Jesus was with you, he’d smack you over the head and call you a dick!
–A train
Overheard by: Josh Jasper
Girl to friends: Do either of you have a really nice picture of Jesus? I need to make an ashtray.
–7th & A
Overheard by: Ty!
Girl #1: I just want to break her spine so that she can’t walk anymore.
Girl #2: Break her spine…?
Girl #1: Because she can walk around. And that’s what’s pissing me off.
–4 train
Overheard by: Michael O’Connor
Guy #1: I told you we shoulda gone to Manattan.
Guy #2: No way. I don’t see movies in Manhattan.
Guy #1: Why the hell not?
Guy #2: They shoot people there. It’s all silent than someone shouts something and then everyone is shooting. It’s scary.
–In line at Stadium 12, Court Street, Brooklyn
Asian guy: Teddy Roosevelt, there was a man. Out of the days when men could club women over the head and drag them off.
Asian chick: Hmm.
Asian guy: What I’m saying is — my thesis is — the position I’m taking is — the argument I’m making is — there’s never been a successful matriarchal society.
Asian chick: Hmm.
Asian guy: Byron “The Whizzer” White! He was a man. He could do it all. Feminism is bullshit. That’s what I love about you. I can’t talk like this around most girls.
Asian chick: Hmm.
–Tony’s Di Napoli, 84th & 2nd
Guy: Damn, I worked so hard this weekend. Mexicans didn’t come out of their hiding holes.
Girl: Hiding holes?
Guy: Stupid immigration shit, I’m going to slap every Republican back to Texas where they can pick their own fruit.
–St. John’s
Guy #1: Yeah, she wouldn’t shut up so I peed on her.
Guy #2: Just what I would have done, bro.
–Central Park
Girl on cell: … a roma tomato, lime… I mean lemon, either one… omigosh, this is the wrong number! [hangs up]
–Staten Island Ferry
Guy: [something in Spanish]… how do you say “altar boy”? You know, the ones whose little dicks the priest sucks?
–7th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jenny B
