Obnoxiously loud girl: So I was at this party and this really drunk girl was like: “Oh my god, pierce my nipples!” and this guy did and I watched the whole thing.
Her friend: Really?
Obnoxiously loud girl: Yeah! But I was expecting blood, don’t you think there’d be blood?
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Thugette to friend, as she exits train: Remember to wash your pussy tonight!
Friend: Bye!
–L Train
Overheard by: Colleen
Man in kilt #1: It was very strange.
Man in kilt #2: Yah! He came up to me and went rawwwrrr just like Chewbacca in the third Star Wars.
Man in kilt #1: What’s Star Wars?
–43rd & 7th
Overheard by: Laughs at Kilts
Man: Skinny bitch.
Employee: Excuse me??
Man: Skinny bitch.
Employee: Um, if you’re looking for the book, you should ask at the information desk.
[Man walks in opposite direction.]Employee: Next time, you might want to preface that one…
Man, interrupting: I don’t have time to stand around and have a conversation about it.
–Strand Bookstore
Guy #1: So how come you’re late?
Guy #2: The conductor on the train held us in the station cause some woman was sick… All I could think was: “How dare this bitch get sick on my train?”
–Brooklyn Tech High School
Overheard by: kreuzweg
Black teen girl #1: Okay, what’s your sign?
Black teen girl #2: Aries!
Black teen girl #1: [reading] “You will learn a lot this month…”
Black teen girl #2: Man, fuck that shit, all I want to learn is the true anatomy of my vagina!
–N Train
Overheard by: Natalie
Young woman #1: I don’t want to apply too many times though, because I don’t want to look desperate.
Young woman #2: Oh, how many times have you applied?
Young woman #1: None.
–Diner, 48th & Lexington
Overheard by: Visitor to NYC
Lesbian daughter: Wow, I have such burnt-out memory cells. Not to be confused with my sickle cell.
Sister, laughing: It’s all mom’s fault! All mom’s fault.
Lesbian to mom, screaming and laughing: Why didn’t you eat my placenta?! You should’ve eaten my placenta! You needed to eat my placenta!
Mom, calm as can be: I’m not African. And besides, you have enough people eating your placenta.
–Parking Lot, NYU College
Overheard by: Lesbian’s Wifey
Man pushing a child in a stroller to old woman walking slowly: Get out of the way!
[Shoves her out of the way, runs across the street frantically pushing the stroller.]Old woman: Next time I’ll kill your baby!
–Christopher & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Randy & Jen
[At 3:00 pm.]Researcher: Oh, I needed to talk to you about the… Oh, wait, good morning! Sorry, good morning first.
Doctor: Morning!? It’s almost noon!
Intern, scared and whispering: Oh my goodness, they’re all crazy.
–NYU Medical Center
