African-American student: Later Mr. B, stay white and don’t let the black man bite!
Mr. B: Ok, Alex, stay black and don’t take my wallet.
–NYC Lab School
African-American student: Later Mr. B, stay white and don’t let the black man bite!
Mr. B: Ok, Alex, stay black and don’t take my wallet.
–NYC Lab School
Young guy #1: So are you doing anything for Cinco de Mayo?
Young guy #2: Uh, I guess I’ll just go out like regular.
Young guy #1: Yeah, that’s cool.
Young guy #2: Actually, one of my friends knows a ton of Puerto Rican people, so that’ll be good.
Young guy #1: Um…yeah…
–6 train
Overheard by: Saltman
Ghetto guy #1: Yo, you think that bitch is gonna blow up the train?
Ghetto guy #2: Nah, negro, she’s white.
–A train
Guy #1: Excuse me, sir, but do you know you’re white?
Guy #2: Yes, I do know that. Now will you stop following me?
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: Suriya
Girl #1: We need to think of a nationality for me.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Because at parties people always ask me what I am and I feel so boring saying “white”.
Girl #2: Say you’re Australian.
Girl #1: And Argentinian. I’m gonna be Australian and Argentinian.
–1 train
Teen boy: You’re just a little nigger.
Teen girl: Quit playin’.
Teen boy: I will break your fucking fingers, you little nigger.
Teen girl: But–
Teen boy: Shut the fuck up! I’ll fucking kill you. I’ll punch you right in the mouth in front of all these gay fucking white people. What do you have to say?
Teen girl: I–
Teen boy: Shut the fuck up! You think I won’t? You don’t think I’m man enough, do you? I’ll hurt you so bad. I’ll fuck you up. You think I won’t?
Teen girl: You will!
Teen boy: I won’t?
Teen girl: You will!
Teen boy: I won’t?
Teen girl: You will!
Teen boy: That’s right. All you wanna do is sleep all day. You wanna go to bed right now and sleep for four days, 24/7. Fucking worthless. You should fucking die for that.
–Q train
Overheard by: Carrie
Guy on pay phone: Hey Tom, it’s Jerry.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Matthew Suss
Cashier girl: You have more than 10 items.
White man: Who are you? Are you the items police?
Cashier girl: You’re only allowed to have 10 items.
White man: Fine, but I have two of the same items, so does that count as one item or two?
Cashier girl: I have to call the manager.
–D’Agostino, 76th & Lexington
Overheard by: Andrew Saint John Goodwin
Old lady: No, Henry, trust me. You were never a fuck machine, and I certainly did know how to fake it.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Marc Mitchell
White man: Excuse me, has anyone ever told you you look just like that rap guy?
Black guy: You mean Snoop Dogg?
White man: Yeah, him.
Black guy: Yeah, all the time.
White man: Are you related to him?
Black guy: Yeah, he’s a distant cousin.
White man: Really? Wow! You must get this all the time.
Black guy: Yeah, even my girlfriend says it.
White man: Well, that must be the reason she dates you. She probably wouldn’t date you if you weren’t related to him.
–1 train
