Slogan: “Peeing a Lot?/ Giant Twat!”

Woman #1: I really have to pee!
Woman #2: My god! Again? You have the tiniest bladder!
Woman #3: You know what they say about a tiny bladder?
Women #1 and #2: What?
Woman #3: Huge vagina!

–Olea, Forte Green, Brooklyn

Posted on May 5, 2008
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Pee, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Vagina, Women

Pays to Catch ’em Feeling Vulnerable

Hobo holding open door: Hello, beautiful lady.
Woman, dropping a five in cup: You’re one smart son of a bitch.

–86th & Lexington

Posted on May 5, 2008
Compliments, Default, Hobos, Money & Class, Panhandling, Upper East Side, Women

It’s Really Not a Tourist Attraction

Tourist: Can you tell me where grand zero is?
Lady: You mean ground zero?
Tourist: Yes, I guess it is the same thing, okay…
Lady pointing straight ahead: Walk straight ahead. You see the big gap in the sky? There you go.
Tourist: Wait. I don’t see anything. What, its all gone already?
Lady: Are you retarded?

–Corner of Church & Reade

Posted on May 5, 2008
Default, Directions, Ground Zero, Insults, Questions, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women, Words

Now, If You Don’t Mind My Doing So, I Will Give You the Finger

Man: I noticed you’re reading The Kite Runner. How is it, if you don’t mind my asking?
Woman: Why would I mind if you ask me how the book is? You’re just trying to sound extra polite, and it’s annoying. Are you from the Midwest?
Man: Actually, I’m from Pennsylvania.
Woman: Even worse.

–F Train

Overheard by: nathaneast

Posted on May 5, 2008
Books & Writing, Compare/Contrast, Default, Etiquette, Men, On the Subway, Questions, Strangers, U.S. Geography, Women

Tragically, She’s Not Alone

Loud lady #1: What you gonna name yo baby when she pop out?
Loud lady #2: Merlot.
Loud lady #1: What?!
Loud lady #2: Merlot.
Loud lady #1: Marlin?
Loud lady #2: Merlot. Its a fine wine, dummy. The reason she be comin’ in to dis world.

–1 Train

Overheard by: TylerDavis

Posted on May 4, 2008
Babies, Default, Drinks, Friends, Names, On the Subway, Questions, Weirdness, Women, Words

Translation: “Die, Shrew. Die! Die!“

Wifey: Did you just see what happened?
Husband: Yes.
Wifey: That’s why you need to let people off the train first before you try to get on.
Husband: Okay.
Wifey: Next time, just follow me okay?
Husband, disgruntled: Okay.
[Wifey starts reading a book and hubby starts reading his morning newspaper.]Wifey, glancing at husband: You really need to clean your ears out -you have a big piece of wax in your ear!
Husband: Thanks for letting me know.
Wifey: No problem.

–N Train