The train door squeaks constantly.
Fat guy: That’s what it sounds like in my bedroom!
Old lady: Yeah, before you get home from work.
–Metro-North train
The train door squeaks constantly.
Fat guy: That’s what it sounds like in my bedroom!
Old lady: Yeah, before you get home from work.
–Metro-North train
Drunk White hobo: Aw man, fucka that shit.
Hispanic deli chef: Man, you don’t have to say that to me. I am your brother.
Drunk White hobo: You’re right, brother…I am sorry, my brother.
–34th street deli between 8th & 9th
Black dude #1: Shut up, nigga.
Black dude #2: What the fuck. Don’t call me nigga. I’m Puerto Rican. Call me a spic.
Black dude #3: Stop using that offensive language! No wonder everyone on this train is staring at us. We are all God’s children. We all bleed the same. Aren’t we all god’s children?
White woman: Pardon?
Black dude #3: Aren’t we all god’s children?
White woman: Well, yes.
Black dude #3: You see!
–1 train
Power suit woman on cell: No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Are you listening to me? I said no! Absolutely not…Why are we arguing about this? Are you listening to me? No. No. You never listen to me. You never listen…Fine. Fine. Do whatever you have to do. But let me tell you this: if you ever thought that I loved you, you have been kidding yourself for a long time!
–50th & 6th
Overheard by: joe jervis
Old lady #1: But I thought the Rockettes were at Radio City…?
Old lady #2: They are.
Old lady #1: But the man said this train goes to Rockefeller Center.
Old lady #2: Well, now I’m confused, too.
–F train
Crazy lady: Excuse me. Listen, you got some of that witchcraft put on you.
Old lady: Uh huh, yeah.
Crazy lady: You gotta get that lifted, or those spirits, you know, they be comin’ at you, they be on you.
Old lady: Yes.
Crazy lady: All right, take care.
–M86 bus
Woman #1: They have a new water called “Smart Water”.
Woman #2: Oh yeah? What’s up with that?
Woman #1: I don’t know…I guess it makes you smart or something.
–96th & Columbus
Overheard by: Paco
Man: Look, they’re hiring.
Woman: No, they wouldn’t hire me with my arrest record.
–Century 21, Cortlandt Street
Overheard by: Pickles
Boy: We’re watching Pimp My Ride.
Man: What does “pimp” mean?
Boy: It’s someone who owns women.
–Washington Square Village
Woman: Wow, I’ve never been that close to a real arrest before!
Man: Neither have I.
Woman: This shit always happens in the city. Thank God I don’t have to put up with it anymore, now that I live in Jersey City.
Man: Uh huh…
Woman: The irony is, I’m just on my way home from my shrink! Ha, ha!
–F train
Woman #1: See that guy in the wheelchair? I think he’s starting to get involved with dealing drugs or something.
Woman #2: Well, I wouldn’t hang around him too much anyway if I were
you. Clearly he couldn’t run away fast enough the first time…
–Fort Greene
