Bar patron dude: No, I don’t think you’re using that right. A ‘moment of clarity’ is a concept from Alcoholics Anonymous.
Bartender chick: But you’re not an alcoholic! So your moment of clarity is when you finally get served booze!
–Library bar, Houston & Ave A
Overheard by: E.Vill. Genius
Dork #1 snickering and pointing at deli awning: D and D deli!
Dork #2: I gotta get a picture of that!
–Soho
Woman #1: It’s hot as Haiti in this store.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Isn’t it supposed to be hot there?
Woman #2: I think you mean ‘Hades.’
Woman #1: No. It’s a place in the Caribbean.
–Banana Republic, 42nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Not Haitian
Bimbette: I think Sandy* has dyslexia.
Friend: How do you know? You’re not in any of her classes.
Bimbette: I know, but she’s just so skinny.
–Madison Ave
Girl: I went to this awesome Italian restaurant last night.
Boy: Oh, yeah? What did you have?
Girl: This thing called ‘Prophylactic.’
Boy: That’s ‘Profiterole,’ you dumbass.
–20th St & 5th Ave
Toddler pointing out window: Fuck, fuck.
Mother: No, that’s ‘truck.’ Tuh-tuh-tuh-truck.
Toddler: Tuh-tuh-tuh-fuck.
Mother: Oh, man.
–Dean & Deluca
Guy: What’s so funny? Vagina? I’m not scared to say ‘vagina,’ watch: Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina!
–Grand Army Plaza
Columbia student: Do strippers use their vaginas?
–Massawa Ethiopian, 120th & Amsterdam
Girl wearing jerz shirt: Guys, if I zipped my pussy, of course I would tell you.
–27th St
Middle school boy to another: Do you know what a ‘cunt’ is? It’s a pussy. [Pause] You should know that, it’s Jamaican.
–B69 bus
Overheard by: Bilingual
Guy standing in pile of luggage outside women’s restroom: Man, I’m glad my vagina’s not with me today.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: A Vagina
Girl: Hew-ston, we have a problem.
Mom: How-ston, honey. Houston, we have a problem.
–NY Animal Control Center
Prep chick: Is it amoebas that come from Mexico? Or am I thinking of armadillos?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
White teen girl: So, is there a Friday next week?
–4 train
Overheard by: Gregorio
Girlfriend: If your friends told you to jump down a bridge, would you do it?
–D train, Grand Concourse
Suit to black gangster holding large chameleon: Excuse me, sir. What species of dinosaur is that?
–Manhattan-bound F train
Overheard by: Josh
Teen: So how much would the game cost if it was $17.99?
–Game Stop, Forest Hills
Future zoologist: They have sea lions here! They’re like lions — from the sea!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Andrew K.
Thug: Where you am?
–Penn Station
Girl: The cat keeps attacking the kitten and trying to dominate him. He’s wicked-dominal.
–Train from Boston, Penn Station
Thug girl: We is not stupid!
–Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: there’s no e in tracy
Teen boy: It’s like that Napoleon ice cream. You know: vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry.
–53rd & 5th
Overheard by: really?
Ghetto woman on cell: Yeah, yeah — he a drug addict. I couldn’t believe it. I had no agnostic he was on drugs.
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: Thirsty Violet
Girl: I’m like, so, you know, like, bad at, like… I’m really inarticulate.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: jaded intellectual
