Let's Chip in and Get Wednesday One-Liners a GPS for Christmas

Confused American: I used to think Atlantic City was in Atlantic State.

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: MBS

Drunk guy: I don't understand why people are giving Sarah Palin so much grief over that Russia thing. It really *is* pretty close to Alaska.

–W 66th St

Overheard by: Emily B.

Anti-McCain dude to another: Man, Sarah Palin is crazy. Yo, she's just crazy. Why did John McCain even pick her? She's not even an American citizen, she's Alaskan!

–The Bronx

Nervous white lady: Um, is the Broadway/Lafayette stop coming up soon?

–Uptown 1 Train

UPS guy to lost tourists: I'm not a GPS! I'm the UPS!

–Prince & Lafayette

Overheard by: dee

Posted on March 18, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Crazy, Democrats, Directions, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Guys, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Politics, Public Transportation, Questions, Soho, Street, Stupidity, The Bronx, Tourism, Tourists, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, White People, Women

Where “Hurrying While a Northerner” Carries a Death Sentence, at Minimum.

Businessman behind group of tourists: These slow-moving tourists are fuckin' killing me.
Tourist: We'd better not catch your fast-moving New York ass in Beaumont, Texas!

–37th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: DodgersWill

Posted on March 17, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Ass, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Comebacks, Murder, Threats, Tourism, Tourists

Who Says New Yorkers Are Unhelpful?

Tourist looking at a subway map, drawing a line with his finger: Where does this train go?
New Yorker : Exactly where you just pointed.

–B Train

Posted on January 30, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Directions, On the Subway, Only in New York, Public Transportation, Questions, Tourism, Tourists

Which One's the New Yorker?

Ghetto preacher: Everyday I wake up and thank the lord…
White girl: I don't.

–125th & Lexington

Overheard by: Agie Markiewicz

Posted on November 24, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Black People, Christianity, Comebacks, God, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Only in New York, Preachers, White People

Wednesday One-Liners Wear Their Neighborhoodies Proudly

Snooty middle-aged woman to gaggle of friends: I don't care about the rest of the city, I only care about my street.

–NoHo

Overheard by: me too

Middle-aged white guy to receptionist: I am glad to be out of the old neighborhood, though. Not that I am prejudiced, but the Hassidim, I just don't like them!

–Dentist Office, Carroll Gardens

Suit: I mean, he lives on 86th Street. That's just generic land!

–L Train

Girl (loudly to friends): No, that's Bushwick. We don't want to get off there! It's really shi… (glances around nervously at people who are now looking at her) I had…a shitty… experience in Bushwick.

–L Train

Overheard by: Rebecca

Hipster guy: And look out, cuz Williamsburg's still hood, dude!

–23rd St & 8th St

Overheard by: alex

Posted on November 19, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Hipsters, Home, Sweet Home, Insults, Judaism, Men, Office, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Race, Suits, The Village, Wednesday One-Liners, White People, Women

“Hit Me, Baby, One More Time”? Really?

Tourist, listening to subway performer: Wow, that song is nice!
Local: Yeah, that's the MTA theme song.

–Grand Central

Posted on November 4, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Grand Central, Music, Only in New York, Public Transportation, Tourists, Vendors & Street Performers

Bruno Exceeds His Daily Civility Quota

Tourist: Is this our stop?
Helpful stranger: This train only got one stop!
Tourist: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know. This is my first time on a subway!
Helpful stranger: Then get the fuck away from me! I don't want no tourist cooties!

–S Train

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on November 3, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Apologies, Comebacks, Insults, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Strangers, Tourism, Tourists

Can We Get a Picture with You, Rude New Yorker?

(a couple of guys want to get a picture of a taxi crashed into a lamppost)
Guy #1 (handing camera to passerby): Can you take our picture?
Guy #2: In front of the taxi. (pause) We're tourists.
New Yorker: Yeah, I know.

–Near Cake Shop

Overheard by: Shutterbug

Posted on October 31, 2008
Accidents, Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Idiots, Pictures, Tourism, Tourists

Here, Have Some Cocaine and Move It!

Businesswoman, trying to pass woman down narrow sidewalk: Excuse me, you are walking very slowly.
Slow woman: I'm not in a rush.
Businesswoman: Where do you think you are, Connecticut?

–Fulton b/w Cliff & Gold

Overheard by: Zach

Posted on October 30, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Only in New York, Questions, Strangers, Time, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women

I'm Going Into Anaphilcollins Shock

Tourist exiting theater (singing): You'll beeee in my heaaaart…
NYC native, hurrying through crowd: Death!

–Richard Rodgers Theater

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on October 10, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Comebacks, Death, Default, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Singing, Theater, Tourists, Weirdness, Words

Ahhh! Real New Yorkers