Angry rider after missing a stop: Why can’t you just pull over? You was only like this far away?
Bus driver: I can only stop at designated stops, I’m sorry.
Angry rider: You could have stopped, you just wanted to be a dick.
Bus driver: Yeah, you would know — you suck enough of it.
–BX9 bus
Overheard by: Don’t know much about it
Girl: You know what I really hate?
Guy: What?
Girl: Gays, queers. You know, that kind of stuff.
Guy: Ah…but you watch yaoi.
Girl: So?
–Odessa, Avenue A
Overheard by: allison
Alabaman, about MLK Day: Yeah, well, down in Alabama we don’t celebrate his birthday, but the day he was shot.
College kid: Uh…
–49th & 3rd
Guy #1: Yeah, but you have a girlfriend.
Guy #2: Yeah, but she needs to lose weight.
Guy #1: Hmm, well how much weight do you think she needs to lose?
Guy #2: About 40 pounds. She says to me, “Why don’t we make love anymore?” and I’m like, “Why the hell do you think?”.
–2 train
Human Leech: Oh, what you have to do is calculate your monthly income–and make sure you include in that the amount of money that your parents give you every month.
–Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg
Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago.
–34th & 7th
Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
–33rd St & 31st Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Wade
Woman: It’s not like someone put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cha
Guy on cell: Yes, I’m interested in your sparring class…No, you see I want to hit somebody.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Braincurve
Thug, to his girlfriend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock.
–Central Park
Suit: Excuse me. You know, if you wouldn’t stand in the doors, we could all get on and get off a lot faster.
Woman: Shut the fuck up, bitch.
–A train, Jay Street station
Overheard by: David Wood
NJ driver: Hey! Red means Don’t Walk!
Girl: It’s blinking!
NJ driver: That’s the same thing!
Girl: No it’s not, dumbass!
–74th & Broadway
Guy #1: Dude. Don’t hold my hand; that is so gay.
Guy #2: Ok, so I can suck your dick, but not hold your hand?
–Outside Down The Hatch, 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Romany
