Suit: Excuse me. You know, if you wouldn’t stand in the doors, we could all get on and get off a lot faster.
Woman: Shut the fuck up, bitch.
–A train, Jay Street station
Overheard by: David Wood
Suit: Excuse me. You know, if you wouldn’t stand in the doors, we could all get on and get off a lot faster.
Woman: Shut the fuck up, bitch.
–A train, Jay Street station
Overheard by: David Wood
NJ driver: Hey! Red means Don’t Walk!
Girl: It’s blinking!
NJ driver: That’s the same thing!
Girl: No it’s not, dumbass!
–74th & Broadway
Guy #1: Dude. Don’t hold my hand; that is so gay.
Guy #2: Ok, so I can suck your dick, but not hold your hand?
–Outside Down The Hatch, 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Romany
Man: Excuse me, but that kid’s screaming is ruining my museum experience.
Dad pushing stroller with shrieker inside: Listen, pal, she’s two years old–
Man: –So why did you bring her?!
–Ancient Near East Galleries, the Met
Man selling CDs: If you like the Mets, you will love my album!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: nicole
Mets fan: I don’t care if I have one lung, or only have half a pancreas, or if I lose a leg falling in front of the train. As long as the Mets win, I’m good to go.
–7 train
Asshole, pointing to guy with Red Sox bumper sticker on his wheelchair: He’s a Boston fan; let’s kick his ass! Oh wait, looks like God beat us to it.
–126th & St Nick
Conductor, on PA: That Johnny Damon. He sure looks like Jesus. But he sure throws like my little sister.
–Amtrak train out of Penn Station
Overheard by: Lisita
MTA worker: All people for the Mets game, go to your right. All people for the US Open, if any, go to your left.
–Willets Point-Shea Stadium subway station
Overheard by: Emily
Thugette: Yo, when I make it in show business, I will not speak to Ben Affleck. When I found out he’s a Red Sox fan, I decided then and there.
–Q65 bus
Overheard by: A White Bear
Conductor: 161st Street, Yankee Stadium. Let Big Papi know who the real MVP is.
–D train
Overheard by: Lindsay J.
Woman: I’m sorry, I know this is probably a lot to ask for, so I apologize, but do you think that you could maybe close your legs a little bit, please?
Suit, with his legs still spread wide: No. My balls are too big.
–7 train
Overheard by: cowering in corner
Meathead #1: Dude, you saw Mitzo was found “Not Guilty” of child molestation, right?
Meathead #2: Yeah I did. Have you talked to him?
Meathead #1: Yeah, we were doing high-fives over some little girl’s back while we sodomized her.
–Victor’s Gym, Sherman Avenue
Overheard by: jermaine propane
Activist: Hey, fur bimbo! How’d you get the blood off your hands?
–St. Mark’s Place
High school teen: Excuse me, do you know where the F train is?
Rich suit: Yeah…you can probably tell that I don't take the subway.
–Union Square
Overheard by: you're probably sleazy too
Hobo: I have not eaten anything in three days and it’s freezing out. Could you find it in your heart to help me out?
Chick: I won’t give you money, but I will go into that deli and buy you dinner.
Hobo: Thank you so much. But I’m Jewish and if you don’t mind, I would really like a kosher sandwich from Mendy’s.
Chick: Oh, forget it — here’s five bucks!
–34th & Park
