Blonde: I had to spend 10,000 fucking dollars to get my boobs fixed. They were, like, all puckered and withered.
–43rd and Madison
Blonde: I had to spend 10,000 fucking dollars to get my boobs fixed. They were, like, all puckered and withered.
–43rd and Madison
Shopgirl: You got to go to Hawaii for the summer? You’re so lucky!
Shopqueer: Not so lucky; I had to come back.
Shopgirl: At least you got to get out of the country.
–Urban Outfitters, Upper West Side
Bleached blonde #1: He’s totally cheating on me.
Bleached blonde #2: Yeah, with his wife. I don’t think that counts.
Bleached blonde #1: It totally does. The bastard.
–Carnegie Hall
Bimbette during intermission: So, like, I don’t get it.
Friend: I can explain it to you. So, it’s like a farce or something. And it’s, like, based on this British comedy group, Monty Python.
Bimbette: Oh. I thought that was a snake.
—Spamalot show, Schubert Theater
Overheard by: Oh Broadway
Hobo to passer-by: Arrrr! I'm a fart knocker!
–7th Ave & 25th St
Bimbette: Wow! I ate olives today and I didn't fart!
–L Train
Girl to friend: She farts makeup! She's so glamorous!
–Deli
Overheard by: Straining to hear the rest of the conversation…
30-something tall woman to friend: I used to live in three houses. Now I live in a closet. It's so small that I have to hang my parakeet out the window just to take a fart!
–Ave B & 3rd St
Overheard by: Mike
Older Greek lady to friend: I don't know Celia. I think it is better for everyone if I have gas.
–Astoria
Overheard by: David
Teen girl #1: …he like kissed me and never called!
Teen girl #2: Shit…
Teen girl #1: My mother always say to me, “You gotta have a back up, you gotta have a back up!”
Teen girl #2: Yo.
Teen girl #1: But look at her, she like fuckin’ four guys at the same time, and it don’t do her no good.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Hairy Toe
Woman: What hotel are you staying at?
German tourist: I’m not staying at a hotel. I’m staying at a hostel.
Woman: We’re gonna do it in a hostel?
–Time Warner Center
NYU chick #1: … And, y’know, some kind of adenine, guanine, trampoline chemical thingie.
NYU chick #2: Er. You mean ‘thymine’?
NYU chick #1: That’s what I said.
–Waverly & University
Voice over speaker phone: Bitch, I tol’ you stay away! I tol’ you back off! Bitch!
Girl, very calmly: That kinda attitude is why your man is eatin’ my pussy.
–Washington & Lafayette, Clinton Hill
Overheard by: nmf
Bimbette #1: Yeah, her roommate totally has a beard. It’s, like, hairy on her face.
Bimbette #2: Oh my god!
Bimbette #1: I know! She also wears, like, purple eyeshadow.
Bimbette #2: Oh my god!
Bimbette #1: I know! I am so mean right now.
–W 49th & Broadway
