Boyfriend to girlfriend who just took his hand during encore: One song and then you turn all lovey dovey!
Girlfriend: Fine! Give me back my hand!
Boyfriend: No! I like making you do things you don't want to do!
–Radio City Music Hall
Boyfriend to girlfriend who just took his hand during encore: One song and then you turn all lovey dovey!
Girlfriend: Fine! Give me back my hand!
Boyfriend: No! I like making you do things you don't want to do!
–Radio City Music Hall
Guy #1: Hey, answer me seriously, what would you do if one day I killed our neighbor?
Guy #2: I would turn into a giant penis and spray semen all over the city.
–A train
Ghetto girl #1: Raymond is gay.
Ghetto girl #2: No wonder he kisses like a bitch!
Ghetto girl #1: Maybe he don't like those rough-ass African lips…
–5 Train
Overheard by: wink
Ghetto booty #1: So I went out with him the other day. Well, not out, we just went and smoked a cigarette at work. It was snowing and he was all catching snowflakes on his tongue and turns to me and is like, ‘Man, I wish these snowflakes was pussy falling in my mouth.’
Ghetto booty #2: Yeah, he wants you.
–6 train
Overheard by: xtina & sarah
40-something woman #1: Look at his little face! Look at his little pink face!
40-something woman #2: Oh. My. God.
40-something woman #1: Look at his little pink face!
40-something woman #2: Isn't he cute?! Look at him!
40-something woman #1: So cute.
40-something woman #2: On my god! I can't believe how cute he is.
40-something woman #1: He is so cute! His little pink face!
40-something woman #2: So cute.
(pause)
40-something woman #1: Isn't he cute?!?!
40-something woman #2: Oh. My. God. So. Fucking. Cute.
40-something woman #1: I love him! He's so cute!
40-something woman #2: So cute.
40-something woman #1: I just can't stand it!
–14D Bus
Bimbette: Well, the human brain weighs 3 lbs.
Friend: So?
Bimbette: So, I'm not really 110. I'm really 107. If you don't count my brain.
–A Train
Queer: So I hit my head on the locker door at the gym, and I think I damaged my cervical cortex.
Chick: I fucking hate you.
–Lispenard St
Overheard by: fat dragon
Headline by: Matthew Sahd Mohammed
Runners-Up:
· “He’s Fucked In the Head” – John
· “I Knew You Cheated Off me on the Anatomy Exam!” – kyla
· “I Also Bruised my Temporal Labia” – Justin
· “It’s Like Childbirth Every Time I Think” – alaina
· “It’s Near the Mangina” – chris
· “Katie Holmes Finally Wakes Up” – Andy Adelewitz
· “Now I Have Two Cunts Giving me a Headache.” – rather decline
· “Oddly Enough, All He Hears Is ‘You’re Fabulous'” – Alexandria Symonds
· “She Failed Her ‘Bedside Manner’ Class in Med School” – AL
· “Since You got Word-of-the-Day Toilet Paper, Things Haven’t Been the Same” – Cheeky Brit
· “So, He Looks Great, Has a Gym Membership AND a Cervix. No Wonder She Can’t Get a Date.” – Mel Mouse
· “What Mr. and Mrs. Bush Say Behind Closed Doors” – Marissa
Fat ugly woman: I mean she is not a pretty girl, but she is a great dancer.
Thin ugly woman: Yeah, she can definitely dance.
Fat ugly woman: Dance yes, but there is something wrong with her face.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Hannah
Girl #1: Your room always smells so good, like coconuts and coffee. It reminds me of the Caribbean. What kind of candles do you have?
Girl #2: That’s not from a candle. The coconut is from the foot cream I use so my feet don’t stink and the coffee smell is there because I spilled some on my carpet and never cleaned it up.
Girl #1: Oh…where can I get the foot cream, then?
–Starbucks, 17th & Broadway
Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money?
–47th & 5th
Overheard by: Adam Bertocci
Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money!
–M14 bus
Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change!
–14th between 5th & University
Overheard by: theNJl
Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money.
–Starbucks, 27th & Park
Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson
