Here, Suck on This Sugar Cube.

Son: Can I have a grape soda?
Mother: When you're 12.
Son: When I'm… 10?
Mother: When you brush you teeth better.

–49th St

Overheard by: Justin

Posted on April 11, 2015
Age/Aging, Body Parts, Cleanliness, Drinks, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms

He’s Like a Bee Who’s Lost His Stinger

Girl: Yo, so I heard that this guy fell into a hole and was covered with molten steel and died. What a terrible way to die.
Guy: Eh, not so bad.
Girl: Well, what’s worse?
Guy: There was that guy in Germany who cut off this other guy’s penis and then ate it.
Girl: He died?
Guy: Yeah, a man dies when his dick is cut off.

–4 train

Posted on April 10, 2015
Body Parts, Death, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway, Violence

It's Wednesday One-Linas, Boo

Thug to girlfriend: Listen, baby, I'm not really lying, fully!

–Ave B & 10th St

Thug: Yo, I wanna go to yoga, son!

–St. Marks Place

Thug: Sometimes I look around and wonder if in my next life I might be a bird.

–1st & 3rd

Overheard by: Angela

Short thug on cell: I'm gonna get you some slippers, mami, so you can show off your feet. Show off your feet. (pause) Show off your feet!

–7th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

Thug to thug friend: Yo, man, you gotta wake up and smell them Arabica beans!

–CVS

Overheard by: freshly brewed.

Thug, yelling to female companion: When you gon' let me show you some dick? When you gon' let me show you some dick? Just let me show you to see if you like it! If not, you can go back to those bitches! At least we'll have something in common!

–7th Ave & 21st St, Brooklyn

Thug, excitedly discussing favorite cold stone flavor: Yo, no homo man! Peanut sensation!

–Downtown D Train

Overheard by: Raven

Posted on April 10, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Birds, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Coffee, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girlfriends, Lies, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Shoes, Store, Street, Stupidity, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Yoga

Or Should We Actually Go to Biology Class Today?

Boy pushing friend toward bathroom: Hurry! Empty your gizzard!
Girl: You mean my uterus?

–Brooklyn Tech High School

Posted on April 9, 2015
Body Parts, Fast Times at New York High, Students

Other Parts Of My Body Would Love a Hug, Though.

Hippie girl: Free hugs! We're giving out free hugs today! (to preppy guy on park bench) Hey! Would you like a free hug today?
Guy: No, thank you.
Hippie girl: Why not?
Guy: Actually, I just had a minor surgical procedure on my abdomen. I shouldn't hug anyone until it heals.
Hippie girl: Well, that sucks. A hug might make you feel better, though!
Guy: I'm pretty sure that a hug would open up the incision on my abdomen from the surgical procedure. I'm told this would increase my odds of infection. Thanks anyway, though.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Double-M