Are You Bragging About That?

White girlfriend to Asian boyfriend intentionally blocking the door: What are you, 12 years old?
Asian boyfriend: Only from the waist down.

–76th & Columbus

Posted on April 28, 2015
Age/Aging, Asians, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People

Your Wednesday Has Turned on the “One-Liners” Sign

Male flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, JetBlue welcomes you to the city which all other cities are reflections of… welcome to New York.

–JFK

Overheard by: SJK

Pilot over loudspeaker: Alright folks, get into your seats quickly. You don't have to love the person next to you and this ain't a furniture store.

–JFK

Overheard by: Allie

Witty flight attendant: And in case that you have not been in a car since 1962, I will now demonstrate how seatbelts work.

–JFK

Flaming flight attendant: In the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you. If this should occur, you may scream, then place the mask over your mouth and nose…

–JFK

JetBlue pilot: I hope you all enjoyed the flight. If you have any questions, please e-mail them to the Continental Airlines e-mail. Thank you for flying JetBlue.

–JFK

Overheard by: lonely passenger

Posted on April 25, 2015
Advice, Airports, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Flight Attendants, Internet, JFK Airport, Love, One-liners, Only in New York, Passengers, Pilots, Questions, Stupidity, Travel, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-liners: The Hole

Guy on cell: Yo baby, you better be keeping that pussy wet for me.

–Fulton & Gold

Overheard by: Prof A

Posted on April 20, 2015
Body Parts, Guys, Horny, Lower Manhattan, On Cell, Sex

Ocean’s Two

Girl: My girlfriend used to date George Clooney and he would have her shave his balls all the time.
Drunk guy: Really? I shave down there, what do you think about that?
Girl: I kinda wanna stop talking to you now.

–Loki Lounge, Park Slope

Posted on April 19, 2015
About Celebrities, Body Parts, Drunks, Hair, Park Slope

Another Intriguing Entry in the Bad Date Semifinals

Man on blind date: I can't believe I just went to the bathroom. Sorry, I didn't think I would have to. I guess as you get older your bladder weakens.
Woman on blind date: Yeah, I guess.

–Sushi Resteraunt, 82 & 3rd

Overheard by: im

Posted on April 18, 2015
Age/Aging, Body Parts, Dating, Health and Hygiene, Men, Restaurants & Cafes, Upper East Side, Women

Sniff, Sniff. It Stinks of Bitch Up in Here

Chick #1: One of my earphones on my iPod is completely busted.
Chick #2: Why? Do you listen to it really loud?
Chick #1: Yeah, on the subway. I try to drown out the noise.
Chick #2: I wish they made iPods for the nose so you could drown out the smell.

–Life Cafe Nine 83, Bushwick

Overheard by: Courtney C

Posted on April 18, 2015
Bimbettes, Body Parts, Brooklyn, iPod, Restaurants & Cafes

Which Is Swollen, But in a Good Way

Tiny hipster girl: So how’s the kneecap?
Hipster guy: Fuckin’ swollen.
Tiny hipster girl: Fuck yeah!
Hipster guy: Yeah. But I’m getting an elephant head tattooed next to my cock!

–Europa, Williamsburg

Overheard by: kneecaps are a real bitch