Comebacks

Ghetto girl: There is no I in ‘team.’
Ghetto boy: There is also no I in ‘gangbang.’

–Astoria

Overheard by: Erik

Counter lady #1: Do I have something on my face?
Counter lady #2: Yeah. Evilness.

–Cafe 212, Columbia University

Overheard by: Ariz

Woman leaving K-Mart: What the hell smells like piss?
(hobo with cart full of belongings begins to walk towards her and almost hits her)
Woman: You better watch where you pushing your fucking house!

–K-Mart

Overheard by: I love NYC!

Man #1: Look at that bum. It’s 2 in the afternoon, and he’s just sleeping in a doorway.
Man #2: He’s homeless. What the fuck else is he supposed to do?

–Charlton & Hudson

MTA worker leading a blind man: You see where those turnstiles are? You’re going to make a left there.
Blind man: OF COURSE I CAN’T SEE WHERE THE TURNSTILES ARE!

–59th St 6 train platform

Overheard by: ahcnaej

Man: Oh, no! This is a crisis!
Woman: No life?

–Cereal aisle, Key Foods, Forest Hills

Fat guy: Just because you have a bus pass doesn’t mean you can go to the liquor store while I wait.
Small Asian girlfriend: Here, have a devil dog.

–Grand & Greene Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: megan m

Guy on cell: I'm gonna come over and give you a big hug before doomsday.

–Outside NYU Dorm

Guy holding up drunk friend: I have to hug the fat kid?! Why don't you try hugging a fat kid?

–LIRR, Penn Station

Overheard by: Laura

Hobo to startled girl: If you give me a dollar I won't hug you.

–7 Train

Small boy, loudly, after some take-off turbulence: The plane is going down… Everybody hug!

–Runway Strip, JFK

Overheard by: PSUny

Guy #1: Yo, why haven't you followed me on Twitter yet?
Guy #2: Man, I don't even pay attention to you when you talk!

–2 Train

Brown guy: That nigga act like he never seen a Sherpa before! Ignorant.
White guy: Well, he probably hasn’t. You aren’t that common, you know.

–Greene & Grand

Overheard by: lil pirate