(two girls standing in line)
Girl #1(with two cupcakes): I can justify buying two because I walk here and walk home.
Girl #2: Are you walking home tonight?
Girl #3: No.
–Magnolia Bakery
(two girls standing in line)
Girl #1(with two cupcakes): I can justify buying two because I walk here and walk home.
Girl #2: Are you walking home tonight?
Girl #3: No.
–Magnolia Bakery
Girl #1: Oh my god, I used to go to Lucille Roberts and now I am thin enough to go to New York Sports Club.
Girl #2: That’s great! I’m so jealous.
–Smoke Break, 30 Rock
Conductor: Attention, passengers. This is the last stop on this N train. For service to Brooklyn, please exit and take the R train. Again…
Tourist: Wait, is this the N train?
Passenger: Yes.
Tourist: Does the N train go to Brooklyn?
Passenger: Yes.
Tourist: Does this train go to Brooklyn?
Passenger, exiting: No.
–N Train
Overheard by: Still searching for the logical flaw
Laughing suit to man with dog: What a nice dog! He must love playing in the snow.
Man with dog: Thank you.
Suit: He must love playing in the snow.
Man with dog: I think she’s just looking for a place to take a dump.
–Central Park
Professor (explaining some complex syntax in language and then proceeds to use example): So, the dog ate the cat.
Student: Oh! Ooh!
Professor: Oh…? Oh! No, no, no! Not in that way!
–Queens College Linguistics Lecture
Overheard by: YoungEnoughNotToKnow
(Native American cop is arresting a black man)
Black man: Fuckin’ discrimination, man! Leave me the fuck alone! I ain’t done nothin wrong!
Native American Cop: Fuck you! We were oppressed first!
Black man: Apache motherfucker!
–82nd St, Queens
Overheard by: Lea
Teacher: Alright, so what are the positives and negatives about eating ice cream?
Student #1: It’s good on a hot day.
Teacher: Good. What else?
Student #2: (under his breath) It’s also good on a hot body…
Teacher: Let’s pretend you didn’t just say that.
–Edward R. Murrow Highschool Classroom, Brooklyn
Overheard by: anonymous
Teenage girl #1: I feel so bad so bad for her.
Teenage girl #2: Why? She brought it upon herself, I didn’t tell her to snort that coke, I didn’t tell her to roll up that $20 bill and put it in her nose.
Teenage girl #3: Let’s be honest now, it was probably only $1.
–Forever 21, Union Square
Douche #1: I just wanted to be like: “bitch, shut the fuck up.”
Douche #2: Yeah. She’s not hot enough to talk to you like that.
–53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
Drunk girl #1: How is Beth* doing?
Drunk girl #2: Oh, she’s doing great. Very centered and serious… She only does a couple of drugs.
–Phoenix Park, 67th b/w 2nd & 3rd
