Default

More Confusion Ensued When the Coca-Cola Was Misplaced

Roommate #1, from kitchen: Hey, have you seen my pot?
Roommate #2: Wait… The one you cook with?
Roommate #1: Yeah.
Roommate #2: Oh! Uh, no.

–Pratt Institute

Headline by: usual suspect

Runners-Up:
· “Awkward Moments Like This Are Why Chamber Pots Went Out Of Fashion” – allison
· “Guess I’m Using the Water Bong to Make Noodles Then…” – Zuel Beast
· “LIES! You Know You Meant BOTH!” – Whee!
· “The Meth Lab Was Never As Well Organized As the Living Room” – batou187
· “Wait, Did It Have Doritos in It?” – Jay Walke
· “Wait, the One You Put the Brownies In, or the One You Put in the Brownies?” – j3rry

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

He Can't Help It If His Butt His Griddle-Shaped

Girl: You know how your boyfriend sometimes falls asleep in my bed? You have to make him stop. Seriously.
Roommate: Why?
Girl: Because I'm going to flip shit on his ass, is why!
Roommate: Well, it's not like he…no, I'm not even going to finish that sentence.
Girl: Good.

–A Train

Overheard by: Mama Beeker

But He Had a Lot of Difficulties Making Weight

Little boy: Dad, who’s Mahatma Gandhi?
Dad: You don’t know who Gandhi is?
Little boy: No. Was he a sports star?
Dad: Something like that…

–Union Square

It's Important to Motivate the Sales Force

Drug dealer #1 (whispering): Smoke, smoke, smoke.
(passerby keeps walking)
Drug dealer #2 (yelling at drug dealer #1): C'mon, you gotta step your game up! Get that shit out there!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: willandbeyond

And Every Cow Has Its Own Udders, Y’know?

Sad, sober friend: I just really miss her, I guess.
Drunk friend: There’s no color the sky can’t be at any given time. Remember that!

–E 11th & 2nd

Said the Grasshopper to the Ant

Guy with clipboard: Hey there! Do you have a minute for gay rights?
Gay dude: Every minute of my life is for gay rights.
Guy with clipboard: Are you aware that there are people in Washington trying to take your rights away?
Gay dude: No shit! That's not news! Leave me alone!

–16th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: mille shayntwright

Could You Call Ahead to the Pro-Choicers on 6th?

Environmentalist giving out fliers: Excuse me sir, do you care about helping our environment?
Man: Oh no thank you, I’m a Republican.

–14th & 5th

Overheard by: Dave

I Won’t Even Let a Stranger Wash My Car

Old lady #1: So, they put you on a slab and the coroner washes your body, like if you were all dirty if you died in an accident.
Old lady #2: They take your clothes off?
Old lady #1: Of course!
Old lady #2: I don’t think I want a strange man looking and washing my cooch!

–Bay Ridge

I’ll Have What She’s Drinking

Eight-year-old girl drinking margarita: My daddy taught me in kindergarten, if any boys treat me like s-h-i-t, kick them in the dick!
[Five minutes later.]Eight-year-old girl: I’m gonna kill myself!

–Mexican Restaurant near Union Square

And Drink Every Time They Say “Safety”

Tourist kid #1 (reading MTA sign): “Be prepared. Watch the safety video on www.mta.com.”
Tourist kid #2: Ooh! Let's watch that when we get home!

–2 Train

Overheard by: Where are you from that considers that exciting?

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist