Little boy to dad (pointing at subway): Daddy, is that a big trash can?
Daddy: No.
Little boy: I’m going to throw trash in it.
–6 Train
Overheard by: reL
Little boy to dad (pointing at subway): Daddy, is that a big trash can?
Daddy: No.
Little boy: I’m going to throw trash in it.
–6 Train
Overheard by: reL
Hipster girl to boyfriend: And she was like this huge ass chick with this little tiny dude! And I was just like: “Yeah! Size like… doesn’t fuckin’ matter!”
Hipster boyfriend: I totally know!
–F Train
Overheard by: mark alan
Bald construction guy: Dude, if you fell down while she was going down on you, I probably would have peed all over her. (swinging motion with hand at crotch area) Oooohhhh.
Suit: Oh my god, if you did that I would have started peeing on her too.
–Pizza Wagon, 86th Street
Overheard by: Trying to Enjoy my Lunch over here
Girl to friend (about guy with camera behind her): His dick is digging into my back!
Guy to friend (oblivious to what girl said): My camera lens is digging into her ass!
–The Crazy Donkey, Broadhollow Road
Overheard by:
Roommate #1: I gotta get out of this stupid city!
Roommate #2: Why, man?
Roommate #1: Man, I gotta get out of this stupid… This stupid state!
Roommate #2: Why?
Roommate #1: I hate this city! I hate everything on the East Coast! Everyone here is so stupid! They do stupid things like… They have stupid days like… Like Wednesdays!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: nooners knows that las vegas doesn’t have wednesdays
Old man: I drink three Cokes a day!
Lady: Three Cokes! You’re in bad shape!
Old man: *I’m* in bad shape? I am 90 years old!
Lady: But Coke is bad for you! It’s full of chemicals that will mess up your biology!
Old man: Are you a biologist?
Lady: (after a long pause) Yes.
Old man: Okay then. Bye.
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Bemused
Blonde: And it totally tasted like plastic or Styrofoam or some shit.
Redhead: Oh my god, maybe he’s a robot!
Blonde: Huh?
Redhead: If your boyfriend’s cum tastes like plastic, he’s a robot. Duh.
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: Marlee
Little boy to mother: Mom, have you ever heard of Anne Frank?
(silence)
Little boy: You know, she was this holocaust victim who lived in an attic and wrote this diary?
(pause)
Mother: I mean, I’ve read about the holocaust, but I don’t know any specific authors.
–Smith & Sackett, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: David
Crazy guy eating in deli: You know, 200 years ago, people wouldn’t be able to get anything they wanted from this place… They’d have to go hunt for food.
Clerk, pretending to be amused: Oh, really?
Crazy guy eating in deli (really excited): And you know what?! There used to be cats screaming all night long until the Chinese food places came around (laughs to himself) but not anymore!
–27th & 6th
Overheard by: Karl
Little boy looking at photos being sold on street: Why do they call it Gay Street?
Dad: They got all kinds of fucked up names for streets in this city.
–Times Square
Overheard by: R
