Black girl: I’m not voting. I’m from Illinois and I never registered to get an absentee ballot.
White guy: Well, Obama’s clearly going to win there, anyway. (pause) Oh, wait… No, I didn’t mean…
Black girl: No, it’s okay, you’re right, I would have voted for him.
White guy: But that’s not why I… It wasn’t the black thing, it was the NYU thing.
–NYU Silver Center
Euchre partner #1: Dude! I saved your ass on that hand.
Euchre partner #2: Yes -and thank you for being Jesus for my anus.
–Euchre Club of Queens
Girl to friend: (smiling) I am so happy to have gone to the spa!
Angry preacher passing by: (screaming) You are all going to hell!
Girl to friend: (no longer smiling) I didn’t need to hear that.
–Port Authority
Giant rasta to his dick: Man, I know one thing for sure, I ain’t needing no more to drink tonight! I’m trying to enjoy my night with you, Woody. Woody? Woody? You awake, Woody? Man, I needs me one of them diamond pills already?
Onlooker #1: Is he talking to his shit?
Onlooker #2: I’m sure as hell not Woody.
–The Coffee Shop, Union Square
Overheard by: Schreibz
Detective #1: Hurry up, we have a DOA!
Detective #2: Relax, it’s just a DOA. It’s not like somebody died.
–Upper Westside Police Precinct
Overheard by: BigCitySgt
Woman: Do you have any books on violins?
Sales guy: Well, we don’t have a lot about playing them, but we have some about the sensuality of it.
Woman: It’s for a child.
Sales guy: Oh.
–Borders, 57th & Park Ave
Father to little daughter: You are the most beautiful girl in this photo… and I’m not biased.
(daughter smiles)
Father: Do you know what “biased” means?
Daughter (rolling her eyes): Yes, it means that you like both boys and girls.
–F Train
Girl: You’ll never guess what I saw in the Delancey Street station today. I was about to sit down on the bench when I noticed that someone had drawn swastikas all over it with a marker.
Guy: That’s distasteful.
Girl: Tell me about it. I’m sure people come across that and have their day completely ruined. Luckily, I was only slightly annoyed.
–G Train
Overheard by: greg*
Little girl with Nintendo DS: Mommy, since I can’t sleep in my room tonight, do I still have to help you right now?
Mom: Yes, you can still help.
Little girl: Ugh, fine. Just let me go die.
–Union Square
