Wrong on All Counts

Teacher: Who was the first African-American woman court justice?
Girl: Judge Judy!

–Leon M. Goldstein High School, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Robert

Posted on July 5, 2008
Brooklyn, Default, Fast Times at New York High, Gender issues, Girls, History & Geography, Questions, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Teens, TV

Mr. McCain’s Co-Workers Have Grown Weary of That Line

Hardhat to ticket agent: Yo, what time you get out?
Ticket agent: At one.
Hardhat: Me too. It’s great gettin’ out at one.
Ticket agent: Yeah, but I got class after.
Hardhat: Well, better than bein’ in a Chinese prison camp.

–Water-Taxi Booth, Queens

Overheard by: obviously not as high as he is

Posted on July 5, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Compare/Contrast, Construction Guys, Default, Jobs & Careers, Prison, Queens, Questions, School and studying, Time

Then How Did They Suffocate People?

Little boy: In the old days, before they had shopping bags, what did they use? Did they use paper bags?
Weary mom: Yes.
Little boy: Really? Brown paper bags?
Mom: Yes.
Little boy: That’s so cool!

–31st Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: Brigid

Posted on July 5, 2008
Astoria, Boys, Colors, Compliments, Default, Kids, Moms, Questions, Shopping

The Sex Ed Teacher You Wish You Had

Teen sister: You mean to tell me you don’t find something wrong with a 13-year-old and a 12-year-old having sex!
Tween brother: It’s only a one year difference.
Teen sister: That’s not the point! Aww fuck it, but you better wear a condom, cause if you wind up someone’s baby’s daddy, I’m not stopping the chick’s dad from kicking your ass.

–Madison Square Garden

Posted on July 5, 2008
Advice, Age/Aging, Babies, Brothers, Condoms, Default, Madison Square Garden, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Sex, Sisters, Teens, Threats, Tweens

He Hooked Up with This Chick and the Rest Was History

Guy #1: Yo, there was a party and her sister was in the shower. I went in there and fucked the shit out of her.
Guy #2: That’s all I’ve been doin’ lately. Fucking.

–Downtown 2 Train

Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie

Posted on July 4, 2008
Celebrations/Parties, Default, Family Ties, Guys, Leisure, On the Subway, Sex

She Also Requires a Full Medical History and Recent Bank Statement

(white girl walks past group of black guys)
Black guy #1: Crimes? Crimes? You wanna do some crimes?
Black guy #2: Nah man, you gotta have a computer to do crimes with her.

–4th St & Ave A

Posted on July 4, 2008
Black People, Computer, Crime and Punishment, Default, Guys, Offers and requests, Union Square and East Village, Words

I Still Think She Was Just Fat from Eating

Woman #1: She wastes so much time at work. Did you ever notice she eats lunch, like, every day?
Woman #2: Yeah, and do you really have to take maternity leave?

–55th & 8th

Posted on July 4, 2008
Babies, Default, Food, Gossip, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Office politics, Questions, Time, Women

If Everyday Life Were Structured Like Double Dare

Guy #1: Yeah–it was great! They gave me all this stuff, three pairs of shoes and some shorts, just for showing up.
Guy #2: That’s great! When did you get out of the psych ward?
Guy #1: Just today!

–Stuyvesant Place, Staten Island