Little boy, excitedly: Can we go to Chelsea Piers again?!
Mom: No. That would require having money.
–11th & Ave B
Little boy, excitedly: Can we go to Chelsea Piers again?!
Mom: No. That would require having money.
–11th & Ave B
Tourist #1: This artist is just making crap up. He’s painting shit that isn’t even there.
Tourist #2: What?
Tourist #1: See that skyline he’s working on? He’s painted in two skyscrapers that aren’t even there!
Tourist #2: Fuck, he heard you — run!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: kiwibloke
Daughter: Oh, Mom! Look, there goes all those comic books kids are reading.
Mother: That’s a cult. Hurry up the escalator.
–Comic book section, Borders, 33rd & 7th
Customer: What kind of muffins do you have?
Waitress with thick accent: Um… Normal muffins? You know… Brown.
–Diner, Upper West Side
Chick #1: Isn’t he, like, really possessive?
Chick #2: Well, he’s a computer engineer.
–‘SNice Restaurant
Chick #1: Can you hand me my eye drops? They’re in my bag.
Dude: What do you need them for?
Chick #1: My eye-ritis.
Dude: Wait… Eye-ritis? Like arthritis?
Chick #1: Yeah…
Chick #2: Guess how she got it? She slapped herself! [Laughs.]Chick #1: And now I probably have AIDS.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Noah Tizzle
Chick: So, wait — he’s dating her?
Dude: Yeah…
Chick: But he lives with his ex-boyfriend?
Dude: Of 13 years. Yes.
Chick: Hmmm.
–Ace Bar, 5th St, between Ave A & B
Overheard by: santa’s boy toy
Man: Yeah, I’m from the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania.
Professor: Oh? Do you commute here?
Man: No, sir… It’s over a seven-hour drive.
Professor: Oh, yes… Right. Pennsylvania…
–W 12th St, New School
Overheard by: CARA!
Woman on Bluetooth: How’s the weather like in your New York?
–33rd & Broadway
Old lady: Geez! Man! It is really cold here! [Looks at other lady] This is why I live in Brooklyn!
–96th & Broadway
Brit tourist to another: Eeee, I knew it were gonna be cold, but I forgot we’d have to, like, go outside.
–Central Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Chick on cell: Why can’t you pick me up, Dad? … I don’t want to wait for the bus — it’s too cold out… Okay, thanks. See you later. [Hangs up phone.] Asshole.
–Bronx-bound 4 train
Overheard by: Sternie
Queer hipster: It’s gonna be cold this weekend. Like, negative four or negative zero.
–Essex Restaurant, LES
Pilot: Welcome aboard our plane this afternoon, with direct service to Atlanta. The current weather in Atlanta is actually colder than it is here, so it sucks to be you.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: jaybrrd
Bronx-born bartender: Theses mouses is gangstas up in here!
–Bar, Gramercy Park
Overheard by: Johnny Progrums
Hispanic kid in group: Gah! Not only do they have rats, but they have immigrants!
–34th St, between 7th & 8th Ave
Black queer on cell, flailing arms as rat crosses his path: Oh my god, a giant rat just went by! It was as large as a purse!
–93rd & Broadway
Woman on phone: … So they said, ‘If you found a rat, then you got a free taco…’
–92nd & Lex
Overheard by: Lost my craving for Mexican for dinner
NYU chick: Is that like a rat that masturbates?!
–Carlyle residence hall, Union Square
Overheard by: j
