Chinese coworker: Hey, you’re wearing makeup today!
Jewish coworker: Yeah, I had a little extra time this morning.
Chinese coworker: But I thought Jewish people couldn’t wear makeup?
Jewish coworker: Huh!?
–Office Building, 26th & 11th
Chinese coworker: Hey, you’re wearing makeup today!
Jewish coworker: Yeah, I had a little extra time this morning.
Chinese coworker: But I thought Jewish people couldn’t wear makeup?
Jewish coworker: Huh!?
–Office Building, 26th & 11th
Teenage Guy: Hahaha, I just put my sac on your arm!
Teenage Girl: What the fuck do you think gives you the right to do that?
Teenage Guy: Well, we’re dating, aren’t we?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Snow White
Hipster girl: Oh, by the way: why did your place smell like piss?
Hipster guy: Matt* got drunk and pissed everywhere last night.
Hipster girl: And when you say Matt* you mean you?
Hipster guy: Yeah, I might.
–Lorimer St
British girl: So, why are you here?
White British guy with headband, wearing an afghan: To spread joy throughout the world.
British girl: …ah.
–E 15th St
Overheard by: Someone who certainly felt joy after overhearing this
(attractive girls are sitting to the right)
Guy #1: Yo, look at 3 o'clock.
Guy #2: Nah, dude what are you taking about… It is 1:30.
Guy #1: I mean the 3 o'clock direction!
Guy #2: Oh!… Wait, the hour hand or the minute hand?
–Baruch College, 25th St
Overheard by: Richard Parker
Lady on cell: Oh, I can’t wait to play with you!
Check-in agent: Excuse me?
–Terminal 7, JFK
Overheard by: Jonathan Katz
Guy #1: So I basically came up with a question that doesn't have an answer. Would you do Jessica Simpson, I mean really Jessica Simpson, but the catch is she is the size of Shaquille O'Neal? Like 300 pounds and 7 feet tall but still really truly Jessica Simpson.
Guy #2: You're right, I don't have an answer.
Guy #1: Yeah, neither did Kevin when I asked him last night. What a mind blow…
–6 Train
Overheard by: Mark
14-year-old #1: …a white car with a red stripe. Those are the people that steal shit.
14-year-old #2: They steal shit?
14-year-old #1: Yeah. Or murder. Something.
–Colonial Road & 74th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jon A.
Upset man: Wow, you lied to me about everything. I don't know anything about you. (pause) Is there anything you didn't lie to me about?
Liar girl: Just one thing, I really am from Georgia.
Upset man: (eyes widen)
Liar girl: And I don't have an STD! Seriously! No, really. Seriously.
–Cafe Orlin, East Village
Female tourist: I don’t want to go to Harlem.
Male tourist: I do! They had a renaissance!
–Green Line
Overheard by: Linds
