Chick: So, you’re working here now?
Barista guy: Well, had they taught me karate from a young age like they were supposed to I would be fighting shoguns in Japan right now.
–Park Slope coffee shop
Overheard by: kendell chambers
Chick: So, you’re working here now?
Barista guy: Well, had they taught me karate from a young age like they were supposed to I would be fighting shoguns in Japan right now.
–Park Slope coffee shop
Overheard by: kendell chambers
Young lady yuppie on cell: It is a perfectly normal fear to be afraid of bubbles!
–83rd & Broadway
Overheard by: KS
Yuppie chick holding hands with yuppie boyfriend: Penis, penis, penis, penis.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: sarah
Yuppie chick on cell: The thing about my ex is it’s, like, the story of ‘If you give a mouse a fucking cookie, I mean, eventually he’ll want to climb into bed with you and have you read him a fucking bedtime story.’
–Rector St
Yuppie: Let’s go find my ex-fiance and beat her up.
–46th & 8th
Guy: You kicked me like a pony in the neck! Now I’m going to be slow for my entire life. You kicked me in the cerebellum!
Chick: That’s not where your cerebellum is.
–Eugene O’Neill Theater
Overheard by: Nicole Thompson
My guy friend and I stopped on the sidewalk to finish up a conversation and say goodbye. A man walks by and gave a hard shoulder nudge to my friend and kept walking.
Guy friend: Yeah, excuse me!
Man: You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. You can’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk; people need to get by.
An argument ensues, then the man walks away. He changes his mind, walks back and gets within inches of my friend’s face.
Man: I have a cold and I’m going to talk right in your face!
–Broadway & Fulton
Overheard by: Jessie
Chick: …and the next thing I knew, I kicked her ass three times.
–Lolita Bar
Girl: What do you think he would do if I pushed his cart over?
Hobo: Bitch, I don’t care if you’re a girl, I’ll beat your ass.
–Carroll St & 7th Ave, Brooklyn
Man: I'm not going to have this conversation with you!
Woman: Why not?
Man: Because that's just setting myself up for an open-ended ass kicking.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Blueshmoo
Ghetto girl #1: I'ma fuck her up! I'ma cut that bitch!
Ghetto boy: You gon' kill her?
Ghetto girl #1: Nah, I'ma cut her!
Ghetto girl #2: You can't do that, thas' ya ex!
Ghetto girl #1: Exactly! Thas' why I'ma fuck her up. She broke up with me!
–G Train
Old white man: I didn’t know they had cockfights in Korea.
Young Asian guy: Yep, sure do.
–1 train
Black man: “And he kept on beating up niggers until he was 37!”
— On the Subway
