Drunk girl: So I wouldn't ask you this if I were sober, but I just have to ask. When you…yunno…are you generally the…penetree, or the…penetrant?
Gay guy: Uhm, you mean, the penetrated or the penetrator?
Drunk girl, laughing: Oh, right. Well. Damn. I mean, gay sex is supposed to be better in France, right?
–Kittichai Restaurant
Overheard by: Brandy
Yuppie in Yabby, in Williamsburg: “I didn’t mean to turn my sister into a lesbian! It just happened!”
Girl #1: Did you like it?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was amazing.
Girl #1: What about Eric?
Girl #2: He wants to become a gay cowboy now.
–Mary Ann’s Restaurant, 2nd Avenue & 5th Street
Overheard by: Overly Attentive Diner
Queer #1: Diversity is the spice of life. If everyone was like us, it would be so masturbating and boring–
Queer #2: Like us? Are you kidding? It would be fantastic!
–112th & Broadway
Guy #1: So, what's “emo”? Like gay?
Guy #2: Basically.
–Outside Soldier McGee Tavern
Overheard by: Jason
Suit on cell: I just don't know what my problem is. I keep getting fucked in the ass, and I just can't figure out why!
–54th b/w Madison & 5th
Overheard by: Pedro
Gay guy to boyfriend (angrily): Well, fine–you can fuck your own ass then.
–W Train
Overheard by: Bethany
Female suit on cell: That's the last time I tell him he can put it anywhere…I haven't been able to sit right all day.
–54th & 5th
Overheard by: GP
Hipster girl to friend: These short-haired girls are starting to piss me off. The only reason why they get all the artsy guys is 'cause they look like fellow fags and aren't prissy about taking it up the butt.
–6 Train
Overheard by: lauren
Girl on cell: He wanted to do it in the butt… No, his butt.
–37th & 7th
Serious woman to friends: Yeah, my students are telling me that the newest thing is butt sex.
–116th & Broadway
Gay #1: How is being gay going for you?
Gay #2: I don’t really jibe with the culture.
Gay #1: Like what?
Gay #2: The music.
–7A Cafe, East Village
Teenage lesbian: Yes you are, you're the weirdest person I ever met. You think I'm going to invite other people over when we already have plans, and you masturbate even when you get no sexual enjoyment out of it!
Teenage lesbian friend: I am not a fapper!
–W 59th St & Columbus Ave
Overheard by: that must be terrible
Naive heterosexual friend: So when did you know you were gay?
Flamboyant homosexual friend: When I was sucking my daddy's dick while he was fucking my mom.
Naive heterosexual friend: Wow. Just… wow.
–SoHo
White chick: And they kept talking shit about gay people.
White guy: Fucking bigots. Those people should be lynched.
White chick: Shh! I told you to stop talking about lynching in this neighborhood!
–143rd & Broadway
