Wednesday One-Liners Feel Pretty and Witty and Gay

Flamboyantly gay guy to gay friends: Why do I have to be the queen? Why can’t I just be regular?!

–Christopher Street

Overheard by: JMcheer

Queer to another: I just want to bury my face in his ass!

–67th & Park Ave

Gay guy on cell: Oooh! I love playing straight!

–1st Ave, East Village

Overheard by: B

Stressed gay worker: They always skip over my lunch break. Everyone else gets their lunch breaks but they always skip over mine. Ugh. Guys, I’m gonna take my 15 minutes. I’m taking my 15 minutes. I close tonight… Ugh, this is not the road to success! (storms off)

–H&M Store

Overheard by: nyu kid

Queer to boyfriend: You know Romy and Michelle? I love that movie… That movie made me gay.

–Restaurant, 19th & 8th

Overheard by: batou187

Queer on cell: I know… I know! Gosh, that is sooo gay!
(bewildered elderly lady looks at him)
Queer to elderly lady (in shrieking voice): Oh my god, oh my god, the faggot said gay!

–Central Park

Posted on February 20, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Boyfriends, Central Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Coworkers, Eating Out, Gays and Lesbians, Gripes, Movies, Office politics, On Cell, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Store, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, West Village, Wishes & desires, Words

Dramatic Tension So Thick You Could Cut It With a Melon Baller

Really gay guy: So you know how there's nothing on on tv in the summer? I started watching the gayest tv show ever.
Really gay friend: Yeah? Like what?
Really gay guy, conspiratorially: Star Trek: Voyager.

–Kashkaval, 55th & 9th

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on February 17, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Queer guys, TV

…Which Is Lick Delicately Around My Anus.

Frat guy #1: I’m totally into gay guys right now.
Frat guy #2: You’re into gay guys?
Frat guy #1: No, man, not like that. Like, I really respect gay guys right now.
Frat guy #2: Why?
Frat guy #1: I just really think it’s cool how they do what they do.

–Barnes and Noble

Overheard by: Molly

Posted on February 16, 2015
Frat Boys, Gays and Lesbians, Queer guys, Store

One Wednesday One-Liner in Four, Maybe More

Queer on cell: Okay, but I’m taking the turkey with me when I leave, ’cause I’m bored.

–50th & 8th

Overheard by: amelia

Queer: I’ve become a statistic these days… I smoke a cigarette, drink my latte, talk on the phone, and drive all at the same time. What? Oh, yeah, and the occasional hand job, you’re right, I forgot…

–Chelsea Cafe

Overheard by: TJ

Queer on cell: … And then she called me and asked for advice on starving herself.

–Fung Wah Bus

Overheard by: nina

Queer: How can he still be dating her? She’s bearded! We told her she has a beard, and she didn’t do anything about it! That’s like someone telling me I have a goiter and not doing anything about it.

–116th & Broadway

Guy on cell: That’s what I love about being a gay man. I don’t wanna hear your shit, I don’t wanna hear your life story, just put your cock in my mouth.

–7th Ave & 26th St

Overheard by: Raze One

Posted on February 9, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Gays and Lesbians, Health and Hygiene, On Cell, On the Subway, Queer guys

For One Thing, “Le Penetrator” Sounds a Lot Classier

Drunk girl: So I wouldn't ask you this if I were sober, but I just have to ask. When you…yunno…are you generally the…penetree, or the…penetrant?
Gay guy: Uhm, you mean, the penetrated or the penetrator?
Drunk girl, laughing: Oh, right. Well. Damn. I mean, gay sex is supposed to be better in France, right?

–Kittichai Restaurant

Overheard by: Brandy

Posted on February 9, 2015
Backdoor, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Languages, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Weirdness, Words

I Also Turned my Father into a Horse

Yuppie in Yabby, in Williamsburg: “I didn’t mean to turn my sister into a lesbian! It just happened!”

Posted on February 9, 2015
Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Williamsburg, Yuppies

He Was Riding a Young Buck Last Night

Girl #1: Did you like it?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was amazing.
Girl #1: What about Eric?
Girl #2: He wants to become a gay cowboy now.

–Mary Ann’s Restaurant, 2nd Avenue & 5th Street

Overheard by: Overly Attentive Diner

Posted on February 8, 2015
Gays and Lesbians, Manhattan, People, Places, Queer guys, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues

The Day the Rainbow Flags Turned Indigo

Queer #1: Diversity is the spice of life. If everyone was like us, it would be so masturbating and boring–
Queer #2: Like us? Are you kidding? It would be fantastic!

–112th & Broadway

Posted on February 7, 2015
Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Masturbation, Queer guys, Talking/Convos, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

“Soldier McGee” Would Make a Great Name for a Cat

Guy #1: So, what's “emo”? Like gay?
Guy #2: Basically.

–Outside Soldier McGee Tavern

Overheard by: Jason

Posted on February 7, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Questions, Words

Behind the Scenes With Wednesday One-Liners

Suit on cell: I just don't know what my problem is. I keep getting fucked in the ass, and I just can't figure out why!

–54th b/w Madison & 5th

Overheard by: Pedro

Gay guy to boyfriend (angrily): Well, fine–you can fuck your own ass then.

–W Train

Overheard by: Bethany

Female suit on cell: That's the last time I tell him he can put it anywhere…I haven't been able to sit right all day.

–54th & 5th

Overheard by: GP

Hipster girl to friend: These short-haired girls are starting to piss me off. The only reason why they get all the artsy guys is 'cause they look like fellow fags and aren't prissy about taking it up the butt.

–6 Train

Overheard by: lauren

Girl on cell: He wanted to do it in the butt… No, his butt.

–37th & 7th

Serious woman to friends: Yeah, my students are telling me that the newest thing is butt sex.

–116th & Broadway

Posted on February 6, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Backdoor, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hair, Hipsters, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Queer guys, Suits, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

Gays and Lesbians