I'll Take “Lesbians Who Don't Love Their Girlfriends” for $200, Alex

Girl #1: Do you think I'm a loser?
Girl #2: What? No. Why?
Girl #1: I haven't gotten laid in like five months.
Girl #2: There's a guy traveling cross country to fuck you! I don't have that.
Girl #1: You got fucked by a porn star! More than once! And she wants to do it again!
Girl #2: We'll it's not like she's flying cross country just for that.
Girl #1: Have you asked her? She might.
Girl #2: Yeah right, I can't even get my girlfriend to come in from Jersey.
Girl #1: (pause) Ewww. Who wants to be in Jersey.

–Elephant & Castle, West Village

Posted on September 14, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Lesbians, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Time, U.S. Geography, West Village

Kindly Tell Me More.

Girl: The woman hasn't had a date in…ten years!
Guy: She's a lesbian?
Girl: No. I wish she was a lesbian…then she'd be easier to deal with. Actually, last night I dreamed she was a lesbian.

–Q Train

Overheard by: Jenny

Posted on September 14, 2014
Dating, Dreams, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Alan Grows Out His Beard

Man #1: You have a girlfriend?
Man #2: Yes.
Man #1: She knows you're gay?
Man #2: Yes.

–Financial District

Posted on September 13, 2014
Default, Gays and Lesbians, Men, Questions, Relationships, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

But That Photo Of Us Topless Could've Been Symbolic!

Chick #1: Our hot bi love is totally on the down-low.
Chick #2: We sent out saucy Christmas cards to all of our friends!
Chick #1: Shit, I totally forgot about that!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on September 8, 2014
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Love, Sexuality

A Gay Dude Would've Had a Much Better Response Than That.

Teen girl in cross-colors #1: That's the thing about gay dudes! They have the best comebacks!
Teen girl in cross-colors #2: I know!

–Flatbush Ave & St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Eric S

Posted on September 8, 2014
Comebacks, Gays and Lesbians, Teens, Union Square and East Village

I’m So Fast, They Call Me the Chrysler Building

Two male twins, dressed alike, in their 20s, address two female twins, dressed alike, in their 20s.

Male twins: Hey! Are you twins?! You twins?! That’s great! We’re twins too! Hey, we’re twins too!
Female twins: Mmmhmm.
Male twins: You ain’t twins! You lesbians! She look like she wanna get it on with you! You ain’t twins! Hey, I’m just tryin’ ‘a help ya out! You ain’t twins.
Female twins: [silence] Male twins: I’m just tryin’ a help you out! I have your best interest in mind! You ain’t twins! Look! That one’s that one’s mother!
Female twins: We’re twins. We are the same age.
Male twins: Then how come that one so much older than the other? You ain’t twins! We twins! That’s why we so tall! We the twin towers!

Female twins flee train.

–F train

Posted on September 5, 2014
Brothers, Clothing, Families, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Ground Zero, Guys, Height, On the Subway, People, Places, Questions, Sisters, Topics

Wednesday One-Liners Jill Off

Music manager on phone: You know what you need? Lesbians! Everyone needs a lesbian.

–20th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: LoRna

Lady on cell: And now she thinks I’m a lesbian because I borrowed her…

–Union Square Greenmarket

Overheard by: borrowed her what?

Guy on cell: Did you bring chairs and a cooler? Cause usually lesbians are so prepared, they always bring chairs and a cooler.

–Ludlow near Rivington

English woman (trying on a pair of vintage men inspired shoes) to man: I always thought there was something very chic about a woman wearing a man’s shoe. (looks at her footwear) But I have to be skinny for this look, otherwise I’ll look like a lesbian!

–Frock Vintage Store

Overheard by: Shoegal

Guy to friend: She isn’t a lesbian but she does own a house.

–13th & 1st

Posted on September 3, 2014
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brits, Diet/Weight, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Home, Sweet Home, Lower East Side, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Physical appearance, Questions, Shoes, Store, Union Square and East Village, Women

…But You Need to Say That While Jabbing Her with Sticks

NYU girl to friend: She looks like a lesbian.
Random older man walking by: Aw, don't talk about her like that when she's not around.
NYU girl: But she does!
Random older man: Okay, I believe you.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Ramsey

Posted on September 2, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gossip, Old People, Sorority Girls, Street, Washington Square Park

…The Gay Sabbath

Girl #1: Wasn't he gay for a while?
Girl #2: Well, just as long as it wasn't on Sunday…

–St. Mark's & 2nd

Posted on August 31, 2014
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Time, Union Square and East Village

Ooo, or a Black Gay Woman Lesbian.

Guy: I was reading about how, this week in history, women obtained the right to vote and the “I have a dream” speech was delivered. I was thinking that a black lesbian would have to be the most disadvantaged in history.
Friend: Yeah…or even a black, woman lesbian!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Thomas

Posted on August 29, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Guys, History & Geography, On the Subway, Race, Stupidity

Gays and Lesbians