Slutty girl: So, umm… like, can I just go in?
Bouncer: No. There's a line to your left.
Slutty girl: But, like don't girls get to just go in?
Bouncer: Um… this is a boy bar. You definitely have to wait in line.
–The Phoenix
Overheard by: Sean
Slutty girl: So, umm… like, can I just go in?
Bouncer: No. There's a line to your left.
Slutty girl: But, like don't girls get to just go in?
Bouncer: Um… this is a boy bar. You definitely have to wait in line.
–The Phoenix
Overheard by: Sean
Electric guy to himself: Where’s my gloves?
Grip guy: Gloves? I don’t use gloves. I use my bare hands like a man! Only pussies use gloves. Are you a pussy? Be a man, ya pussy.
Electric guy: But then my skin will get all dry and crack and stuff.
Grip guy: Duh, well, yeah. That’s why you have to moisturize.
–Movie set of I Am Legend
Overheard by: Another electric guy
Obviously gay guy: But I'm not gay.
Slightly less gay friend: Yes you are.
Obviously gay guy: No, it's not about the male genitalia. It's about finding someone who fits me like a puzzle piece.
Slightly less gay friend: Who just happens to have a penis.
Obviously gay guy: Yeah.
Slightly less gay friend: Mmm-hmm.
–Roxy, Times Square
Overheard by: Token
Gay guy with fohawk: I was so drunk I had to leave. I was so afraid something was going to happen and I was going to wake up and be like, “shit! I fucked a girl!”
Girl: Damn!
–FIT
White woman to friend: Wow, this is a great place to meet straight people!
–Madison Square Garden
Dude to female passenger: If I was straight, I'd be hitting that, but I'm not straight, so I won't be hitting that.
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Maggie
Yelling blonde: What's my type? He should be straight, that's my type.
–68th & Columbus
Amateur philosopher: If I wasn't straight, I'd totally be gay.
–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Headaches
Teen girl to friend: They're not gay! They're just old!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Peter
Drunk girl #1: Come on! Tell us!
Guy: I plead the fifth.
Drunk girl #1: Well I plead the sixth, cutting off your alcohol.
Drunk girl #2: Pleading the fifth is only for gays in the military.
–D train
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Queer #1: Oh, good god, no! He looks like Jack from Will & Grace…
Queer #2: Oh, stop!
Queer #1: … Only about 30 years older.
Queer #2: That would make him, like, 80!
–Greenwich & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Manhattman
HS guy: He’s just so irritatingly flamboyant. The first day of class I didn’t want to sit in the front row. I was afraid he’d burst into flames.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Girl #1: Do you think I'm a loser?
Girl #2: What? No. Why?
Girl #1: I haven't gotten laid in like five months.
Girl #2: There's a guy traveling cross country to fuck you! I don't have that.
Girl #1: You got fucked by a porn star! More than once! And she wants to do it again!
Girl #2: We'll it's not like she's flying cross country just for that.
Girl #1: Have you asked her? She might.
Girl #2: Yeah right, I can't even get my girlfriend to come in from Jersey.
Girl #1: (pause) Ewww. Who wants to be in Jersey.
–Elephant & Castle, West Village
Girl: The woman hasn't had a date in…ten years!
Guy: She's a lesbian?
Girl: No. I wish she was a lesbian…then she'd be easier to deal with. Actually, last night I dreamed she was a lesbian.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Jenny
