Guy to three cute girls: You’re the best looking gay guys I’ve seen all day!
–Christopher & Bedford
Chick to dude: You could wear a dress if you wanted to.
–Broadway
Abercrombie tot: Wait, you can’t carry a boy dog in a purse. That’s unnatural!
–Penn Station
Tween girl to friends: No, she’s a boy now and she looks gay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R
Cute brunette: Who am I, forcing your lovers into a male-female dichotomy? I am terrible!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Med student: I wish you were straight, so I could have sex with you right now.
Flamboyant friend, sighing: I'm not in the mood.
–Columbia University
Crazy hobo: Marriage is for having children, and gay people never have children! Marriage is for sex, and gay people never have sex!
Latina: He needs to get fucked up the ass.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Ari
Suit: Did they tip their 45s to their homies?
–Park Avenue
Overheard by: SuperVixen
Suit on phone: 500 milligrams? That's nothing. First, you need to start looking at the definition of possession…
–Broadway & Reade
Suit to little son: I need to teach you the difference between "homos" and "hobos." You'll understand easily, (giggles) …not much of a difference.
–Doctor's Office, Carrol Gardens
Suit on phone, snickering: Your posts are turd sandwiches!
–4th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: ris
Suit on cell: I say go for it. You're rich, she's hungry. What could be more perfect?
–47th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Adrienne
Chick #1: I mean, I think we should do it…
Chick #2: Yeah. I mean, you’re gay, he’s gay, and I’m kinda gay…
–St. Mark’s
Mom: I wish you were gay.
Adult son: So I would dress better?
Mom: So I’d have an excuse to hate you.
–L train
Gay boyfriend #1: I'm so disappointed. I really didn't like that as much as mine.
Gay boyfriend #2: You think yours is better?
Gay boyfriend #1: Definitely! Next time I'm bringing my own soap.
–City Opera
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Korky
20-something girl: I'm a teenager! I collect pogs and say "suck it," and listen to Kriss Kross!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Claire H.
Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.
–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre
Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it."
–Chambers St Subway Station
Overheard by: sarah
Trendy girl: I can't believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess "Don't Stop Believing" and "We Are the Champions"… basically any Queen song.
–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place
Overheard by: Any Britney Song
20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don't dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.
–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway
Professor: Where is the line between what is homosexual and what is not? Is a circle jerk not gay? Oh, god. I’m sorry to anyone who doesn’t know what that is.
–NYU
Girl: It makes you look gay, and I don’t mean good gay.
–The Gap, 17th St & 5th Ave
Flamboyant man on cell: I got you the one that had an ‘L.V.’ on it… How am I supposed to know what that means? I’m not that kind of gay!
–Grand St & Broadway
Overheard by: callmedrpalmer
TA: We can talk about boy sex, but we can’t talk about homosexuality.
–Classroom, NYU
Queer: Wait, how did you end up the gayest? Because I started out the gayest!
–Time Square
Overheard by: Tourist Who Blends
Bimbette: No, Jesus was gay. That’s the only solution.
–4 train
Overheard by: solution to what?
Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.
–Bedford & S 3rd
Overheard by: Rocky
Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?
–Broadway
Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.
–Q Train
Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!
–Ave C & 7th St
Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.
–Rockefeller Center
30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Tom Guest
