Mom: I wish you were gay.
Adult son: So I would dress better?
Mom: So I’d have an excuse to hate you.
–L train
Mom: I wish you were gay.
Adult son: So I would dress better?
Mom: So I’d have an excuse to hate you.
–L train
Gay boyfriend #1: I'm so disappointed. I really didn't like that as much as mine.
Gay boyfriend #2: You think yours is better?
Gay boyfriend #1: Definitely! Next time I'm bringing my own soap.
–City Opera
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Korky
20-something girl: I'm a teenager! I collect pogs and say "suck it," and listen to Kriss Kross!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Claire H.
Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.
–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre
Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it."
–Chambers St Subway Station
Overheard by: sarah
Trendy girl: I can't believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess "Don't Stop Believing" and "We Are the Champions"… basically any Queen song.
–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place
Overheard by: Any Britney Song
20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don't dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.
–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway
Professor: Where is the line between what is homosexual and what is not? Is a circle jerk not gay? Oh, god. I’m sorry to anyone who doesn’t know what that is.
–NYU
Girl: It makes you look gay, and I don’t mean good gay.
–The Gap, 17th St & 5th Ave
Flamboyant man on cell: I got you the one that had an ‘L.V.’ on it… How am I supposed to know what that means? I’m not that kind of gay!
–Grand St & Broadway
Overheard by: callmedrpalmer
TA: We can talk about boy sex, but we can’t talk about homosexuality.
–Classroom, NYU
Queer: Wait, how did you end up the gayest? Because I started out the gayest!
–Time Square
Overheard by: Tourist Who Blends
Bimbette: No, Jesus was gay. That’s the only solution.
–4 train
Overheard by: solution to what?
Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.
–Bedford & S 3rd
Overheard by: Rocky
Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?
–Broadway
Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.
–Q Train
Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!
–Ave C & 7th St
Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.
–Rockefeller Center
30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Tom Guest
Skinny twink #1: I know that guy.
Skinny twink #2: You know her, that guy from the chorus, the concert-soloist, that guy who blew you at Splash, and now him! That makes the fifth person you've seen that you know, in less than an hour.
Skinny twink #1: Well, New York is this big! (holds up little finger)
Skinny twink #2: And you're a whore.
–Gay Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Eugene
Chick: I should start going to gay bars. I’m tired of going to all these straight bars where guys feel free to rub their penis all over your ass.
–Zabar’s, Broadway & 80th St.
Overheard by: Basil
Woman: Honestly, I wonder what she ended up doing with a 3 foot, papier-mache penis.
–Broadway/Lafayette station
Overheard by: Jaya
Guy: I don’t want to live in a building that undulates!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Derek
Chubby Hispanic guy: I got soap on a rope, dude.
Manly black guy: And I got scissors, baby.
–W 34th St
Guy to friend: Are you gay, man?
Friend: I'm not fucking gay, I just want to hold your fucking hand!
Hobo: I'll hold your hand, buddy.
–2nd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Just wanted a milkshake…
Guy: I was seeing her for a while, but it just wasn’t working out. I guess I’m not over Jessica.
Girl: What?
Guy: What do you mean, what?
Girl: I thought you were gay.
Guy: Oh, because I’m a hairdresser. How original. Just because I’m a hairdresser you think I’m gay.
Girl: No. I thought you were gay because when I stayed at your house four years ago I woke up and saw you fucking Matt in the ass!
Guy: Oh my God. Matt and I have never talked about that night.
–9th & B
Overheard by: GavinM
