Hipster girl #1: I usually don’t mind, but this guy was like… I mean, basically you couldn’t tell if his shirt was on or off, he was that hairy!
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, I used to date a guy like that. You know those hair removal ads for men with the before and after pictures, where they basically take like the hairiest man that ever walked the earth? That was him. Chest, back, shoulders, ass… Covered.
Bear guy: Aw, come on. That’s just plain hot!
–Pink Pony, LES
(two guys bike past blowing a whistle and yelling, imitating a siren)
Old woman: Well, that about sums it up.
–Broadway & 19th
Overheard by: sweetchuck
Grandpa on cell: Okay, well, don't bump and grind with any boys!
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: Yours Truly
Older lady: I'm anti-tchotchke!
–Hudson & Bleecker
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Older woman gazing out at the pond: Well this is it! Scumbag park!
–Turtle Pond, Central Park
Overheard by: Confused
Old guy sitting on bench, to other: I'm gonna send your picture to Bellevue, so they can get the food ready for ya.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lola
Old lady: The sex shops came in after the gays moved up from The Village in the 80s. But that's okay…
–8th Ave & 20th St
Elderly well-dressed lady to other (in front of bong shop): This place looks good.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Philouza
Skinny gay guy #1: Oh, I can't. It's drag queen puppet bingo night.
Skinny gay guy #2: It's the only one in town! We can't miss it!
–44th & 9th
Queer #1: I am sorry, I did not mean it.
Queer #2 (angrily): What do you mean you didn’t mean it? You told me that you loved me. You can’t just take that back!
Queer #1: Sorry.
Queer #2: What do you mean you’re sorry!?
(pause for a block)
Queer #1: Thanks for the help. Now I feel ready to tell Brian.
–Univeristy Place &14th St
Girl looking at unisex bathroom sign: The bathrooms are bisexual!
–The Brooklyn Lyceum
Overheard by: Jordana
Hipster dude on cell: He broke up with me for a girl!
–St. Marks & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Amy
Woman on cell: Yes, baby, yes, I’m bisexual! I need a man right now. You ready or what?
–6th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: TK
Guy on cell: Damn, baby, it’s been months since we’ve had sex! Is it another guy? …Is it another girl?!
–Prince St
Overheard by: Suzy
Fourth-grade kid: See, what you people don’t understand is, my fists are bisexual — they hit both boys and girls.
–PS 34
Overheard by: Emily
Tween boy #1: Man, I don’t like your school.
Tween boy #2: I know. They’re all like Rob Zombie there, but none of them are zombies — they’re all gay.
–C train
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Crazy hobo: Well, hey baby, you're beautiful!
Pedestrian: I'm a man, dammit, I'm a man!
–9th Ave
High school boy #1: Man, those lesbians are everywhere!
High school boy #2: Yeah!
High school boy #1: Yeah, man! I used to think that shit was cool, but then I was like, “Shit! I ain't gettin' any of that!”
High school boy #2: Yeah!
–Downtown 4 Train
Overheard by: klo
Guy to three cute girls: You’re the best looking gay guys I’ve seen all day!
–Christopher & Bedford
Chick to dude: You could wear a dress if you wanted to.
–Broadway
Abercrombie tot: Wait, you can’t carry a boy dog in a purse. That’s unnatural!
–Penn Station
Tween girl to friends: No, she’s a boy now and she looks gay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R
Cute brunette: Who am I, forcing your lovers into a male-female dichotomy? I am terrible!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Med student: I wish you were straight, so I could have sex with you right now.
Flamboyant friend, sighing: I'm not in the mood.
–Columbia University
