Wednesday One-Liners, the Forbidden Dance

Tween girl: I mean, she changed her MySpace name to "freaky dancer," I mean, she needs to take that shit off. Seriously, take it off, because I'm the freaky dancer, no one else is the freaky dancer but me.

–Uptown 6 Train

Man: There will be no more dancing tonight. I broke the pole.

–Times Square

Jumpy drunk guy: I have two options. Dance or fall asleep!

–Blackbird Parlour, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ak

Guy: I'm really into Nijinsky…no homo.

–F Train

Weary looking woman on cell: Six and a half hours of burlesque. I didn't think there was such a thing as too much burlesque…but I thought wrong.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: McNasty

College girl: And then I would say: "But do you object? Do you object to my vagina dance?"

–Union Square

Posted on November 28, 2014
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Dancing, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Men, Myspace, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Penn Station, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Tweens, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

I’m Hoping to Experiment with Heterosexuality in College

Dude: Do you want to dance?
Chick: No, sorry, I have a boyfriend.
Dude: That’s okay, I’m gay.
Chick: Are you sure?
Dude: Am I sure? Yes! [Girl walks away.] Okay, fine, I’m not sure.

–Webster Hall, NYU

Posted on November 23, 2014
Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, NYU, Pick-up Lines

As Kind of a “Welcome to the Neighborhood”

Hispanic guy to tall guy passing by: Pssst!
(tall guy turns head without stopping)
Tall guy: No, thanks. (keeps walking and Hispanic guy starts following him)
Hispanic guy: Psssssst!
(tall guy stops at door, opens it)
Hispanic guy: Oh, you live here. I live over there. Why don't you let me suck your dick?

–35th & 9th

Overheard by: Brad

Posted on November 20, 2014
BJs, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Queer guys, Weirdness

As Compared to Girls, All Guys Are Easy

Young hot guy #1: I want you to know you really were considerate when you fucked me. I mean, I'm not easy.
Young hot guy #2: I try to help out.

–Union Square

Posted on November 20, 2014
Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Sex, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires

He’s Unsure Whether Skeletons Count as Siblings

Guy #1: …and then I came in and Anne was watching some gay movie with Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix–
Guy #2: Who’s River Phoenix?
Guy #1: You know, Joaquin Phoenix’s brother.
Guy #2: Joaquin Phoenix has a brother?
Guy #1: I guess…

–A train

Posted on November 19, 2014
A-List, About Celebrities, Brothers, Celebrities, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Movies, On the Subway, People, Places, Pop Culture, Queers, Topics

Wednesday One-Liners for the Fine Young Cannibals

Hipster: Everyone I know is either married, divorced, gay or crazy.

–37th St, Astoria

Overheard by: Matthias Sundberg

Karaoke panhandler singing Gnarls Barkley: "Does that make me craaaaazy? Maybe I'm craaaaaazy!" It's Memorial Day and I'm sitting here singing to people I never met before in my life. Mmmmmm…craaaazy!

–Times Square Subway Station

Black woman to janitor companion: I am so glad I live in the ghetto. These motherfuckers down here are crazy! (companion nods) And I live in the ghe-tto, 2 train ghetto.

–22nd St & 5th Ave

Hobo, watching man and woman having sex against a statue: I think I'm going to have to move to Europe or something. This place is getting too crazy.

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Westsider

30-something guy on cell: Well, that's what my crazy sister said about my more crazy sister.

–Broadway & 114th St

Overheard by: mary e.

Little boy in abandoned shopping cart: I've gotta get off this crazy train!

–Target, Atlantic Ave

Posted on November 19, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Black People, Brooklyn, Columbia University, Crazy, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Happiness, Hipsters, Hobos, Kids, Marriage, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Music, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, One-liners, Panhandling, Parks, Public Transportation, Sex, Store, Subway Stations, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Travel, Vendors & Street Performers, Weirdness, Women

Sample Sales Can Get Vicious

Gay guy #1: You're a single lady, though! It doesn't even matter!
Gay guy #2: Exactly. So I was all, “If you like it, then you should've just peed on it.”

–81st St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: a new beyonce fan

Posted on November 19, 2014
Gays and Lesbians, Pee, Queer guys, Sex, Upper East Side, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Go Chasing Waterfalls

Guy in line for the bathroom: Man, it takes a lot of trust to let someone piss through your legs.

–Angelika Theater

Girl: If I had a barbecue on my stoop, three queens would pee on it on the first night. I mean, you'd think they wouldn't, since it's a historically gay street. But I've seen so many queens peeing on Christopher Street when it's nice out!

–28th & 5th

Overheard by: Donk

Really drunk girl: I have to pee so bad! I almost peed on the corner, but then I remembered I don't have a penis.

–14th St

NYU girl, immediately after taking shot of tequila: Guys, I have to pee, but I don't want to pee out the patron!

–NYU Dorm

NYU girl: I'm going to go see her! I sobered up for this! I drank tons of water! I could pee my ass out!

–8th & University

Short cop on his phone: Peed? You peed on the bed?

–21st St b/w 3rd & 2nd

Posted on November 18, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cops, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Pee, Penis, Questions, Sorority Girls, Street, The Village, Theater, Trannies, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Like Becoming Disenchanted with Both Sexes

Chick #1: Wait, you like pussy?
Chick #2: Well…
Chick #1, yelling: You like pussy! That’s amazing! This opens up so many options!

–Madison & Rutgers

Posted on November 14, 2014
Bimbettes, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, The Village, Vagina

And Then We'd Totally Have Boobs! Booyah!

20-something guy #1: Dude, that band was awesome!
20-something guy #2: I know! It makes me wish I were a chick, that way I could have that guy's babies.
20-something guy #1: Me too!

–Southpaw, Park Slope

Overheard by: esgeness

Posted on November 11, 2014
Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Guys, Music, Park Slope, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Gays and Lesbians