Girl: We're across the street from Padma Lakshmi's favorite pizza place. Too bad I've never seen her in it. Because I would probably accidentally kiss her or something.
Guy: With tongue.
Girl: Duh!
–18th & Lex
Girl: We're across the street from Padma Lakshmi's favorite pizza place. Too bad I've never seen her in it. Because I would probably accidentally kiss her or something.
Guy: With tongue.
Girl: Duh!
–18th & Lex
Girl: So I went over to their place and it was a bunch of super-flowery lesbians watching high school musical.
Guy: That sounds interesting.
Girl: Yeah, then they made me pork and beans, which was nice.
–M15 Bus
Tween girl: I mean, she changed her MySpace name to "freaky dancer," I mean, she needs to take that shit off. Seriously, take it off, because I'm the freaky dancer, no one else is the freaky dancer but me.
–Uptown 6 Train
Man: There will be no more dancing tonight. I broke the pole.
–Times Square
Jumpy drunk guy: I have two options. Dance or fall asleep!
–Blackbird Parlour, Brooklyn
Overheard by: ak
Guy: I'm really into Nijinsky…no homo.
–F Train
Weary looking woman on cell: Six and a half hours of burlesque. I didn't think there was such a thing as too much burlesque…but I thought wrong.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: McNasty
College girl: And then I would say: "But do you object? Do you object to my vagina dance?"
–Union Square
Dude: Do you want to dance?
Chick: No, sorry, I have a boyfriend.
Dude: That’s okay, I’m gay.
Chick: Are you sure?
Dude: Am I sure? Yes! [Girl walks away.] Okay, fine, I’m not sure.
–Webster Hall, NYU
Hispanic guy to tall guy passing by: Pssst!
(tall guy turns head without stopping)
Tall guy: No, thanks. (keeps walking and Hispanic guy starts following him)
Hispanic guy: Psssssst!
(tall guy stops at door, opens it)
Hispanic guy: Oh, you live here. I live over there. Why don't you let me suck your dick?
–35th & 9th
Overheard by: Brad
Young hot guy #1: I want you to know you really were considerate when you fucked me. I mean, I'm not easy.
Young hot guy #2: I try to help out.
–Union Square
Guy #1: …and then I came in and Anne was watching some gay movie with Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix–
Guy #2: Who’s River Phoenix?
Guy #1: You know, Joaquin Phoenix’s brother.
Guy #2: Joaquin Phoenix has a brother?
Guy #1: I guess…
–A train
Hipster: Everyone I know is either married, divorced, gay or crazy.
–37th St, Astoria
Overheard by: Matthias Sundberg
Karaoke panhandler singing Gnarls Barkley: "Does that make me craaaaazy? Maybe I'm craaaaaazy!" It's Memorial Day and I'm sitting here singing to people I never met before in my life. Mmmmmm…craaaazy!
–Times Square Subway Station
Black woman to janitor companion: I am so glad I live in the ghetto. These motherfuckers down here are crazy! (companion nods) And I live in the ghe-tto, 2 train ghetto.
–22nd St & 5th Ave
Hobo, watching man and woman having sex against a statue: I think I'm going to have to move to Europe or something. This place is getting too crazy.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Westsider
30-something guy on cell: Well, that's what my crazy sister said about my more crazy sister.
–Broadway & 114th St
Overheard by: mary e.
Little boy in abandoned shopping cart: I've gotta get off this crazy train!
–Target, Atlantic Ave
Gay guy #1: You're a single lady, though! It doesn't even matter!
Gay guy #2: Exactly. So I was all, “If you like it, then you should've just peed on it.”
–81st St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: a new beyonce fan
Guy in line for the bathroom: Man, it takes a lot of trust to let someone piss through your legs.
–Angelika Theater
Girl: If I had a barbecue on my stoop, three queens would pee on it on the first night. I mean, you'd think they wouldn't, since it's a historically gay street. But I've seen so many queens peeing on Christopher Street when it's nice out!
–28th & 5th
Overheard by: Donk
Really drunk girl: I have to pee so bad! I almost peed on the corner, but then I remembered I don't have a penis.
–14th St
NYU girl, immediately after taking shot of tequila: Guys, I have to pee, but I don't want to pee out the patron!
–NYU Dorm
NYU girl: I'm going to go see her! I sobered up for this! I drank tons of water! I could pee my ass out!
–8th & University
Short cop on his phone: Peed? You peed on the bed?
–21st St b/w 3rd & 2nd
