Scene girl: I don’t understand why your mother doesn’t like me…
Scene boyfriend: You stole my grandmother’s medication.
Scene girl: She’ll be dead in a week. Chill out.
–Central Park
Scene girl: I don’t understand why your mother doesn’t like me…
Scene boyfriend: You stole my grandmother’s medication.
Scene girl: She’ll be dead in a week. Chill out.
–Central Park
Girl #1: It’s so obvious she’s into you.
Girl #2: I know, I gotta tell her I’m not into girls. Last time I was there, she practically raped me with her eyes.
–86th & Lex
Boyfriend to angry girlfriend: I’s just sayin’!
Girlfriend, apologetically hugging him: Aw, you didn’t say you was jus’ sayin’!
–Jamaica Station
Overheard by: Danial
Girlfriend: What would you do if I just suddenly grew a penis?
Boyfriend: Well, first I’d scream. Then, I’d probably jack you off.
–7 train station, Main St
Prep chick: Is it amoebas that come from Mexico? Or am I thinking of armadillos?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
White teen girl: So, is there a Friday next week?
–4 train
Overheard by: Gregorio
Girlfriend: If your friends told you to jump down a bridge, would you do it?
–D train, Grand Concourse
Suit to black gangster holding large chameleon: Excuse me, sir. What species of dinosaur is that?
–Manhattan-bound F train
Overheard by: Josh
Teen: So how much would the game cost if it was $17.99?
–Game Stop, Forest Hills
Future zoologist: They have sea lions here! They’re like lions — from the sea!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Andrew K.
Ana #1: I just did it to jump start my diet.
Ana #2: You smoked crack.
Ana #1: Just for a couple weeks, to lose the initial weight.
Ana #2: And then what did you do?
Ana #1: Now I just eat half an avocado a day.
–Equinox, Greenwich St
Girl #1: I could never be a lesbian. Like, I might be able to kiss a girl, but if I had to go down on someone, UGH!
Girl #2: Yeah, if I had to go down on a girl I think I’d faint.
Girl #1: I wouldn’t faint, but I’d vomit… probably on her cooch.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Gablowo
Girl: Do you remember what you promised me before you left?
Guy: What? No.
Girl: You don’t remember what you promised me?
Guy: I promise you things all the time. I never remember any of them.
–Coffee house, East Village
Woman #1: I can’t wait to get to the hotel this weekend and have a hot bath in a clean tub.
Woman #2: What, you can’t use your own tub?
Woman #1: I wouldn’t sit in it. It’s filthy. I only take a bath in hotel bathtubs.
Woman #2: Surely your bathtub is cleaner than a hotel bath where thousands of strange butts have been.
Woman #1: You’ve never seen my tub!
–Steps, NY Public Library
Overheard by: Librarian
Girl #1: Dammit, they’re putting one of the wheelchair people on the bus!
Girl #2: Fuck, man…You know, they should just put a handle on the back of the bus.
Girl #1: Yeah, that could be fun for them!
–M12 bus
