Guy: Rachel! You're so stupid!
Rachel: I'm not stupid! I'm just sexy.
–5th Ave
Guy: Rachel! You're so stupid!
Rachel: I'm not stupid! I'm just sexy.
–5th Ave
Girl #1: What's D'Agostino's?
Girl #2: It's an Indian restaurant. I eat there all the time!
–10th St & University
Overheard by: Haley
Chick #1: Let's have a baby together.
Chick #2: Let's do it. Which one of us is going to have it?
Chick #1: You are.
Chick #2: Why me?
Chick #1: Because I have the dick.
–Party, 6th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: hooked up with her the night before
20-something girl #1: I’ve been so sick today.
20-something girl #2: Oh no! Why?
20-something girl #1: Must have been those two squash and spaghetti sandwiches I ate yesterday.
20-something girl #2: Oh, right!
(momentary pause)
20-something girl #1: So, have you ever been pregnant?
–Ladies Room, Vento Trattoria
Headline by: Alex
Runners-Up:
· “It’s The Perfect Way to Justify My Incredibly Bizarre Eating Habits” – Caitlin
· “It’s Usually the After Dinner Drinks That Get Me Pregnant.” – Bud
· “No, But Sometimes I Pretend to Be So People Don’t Mock My Food Choices” – o k
· “So Began the Story Of the Immaculate Conception Of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” – Jared
· “The Day Peggy Learned Squash-and-Spaghetti-Sandwich Contraception Is a Myth” – Steve
· “The Shift in Topic Was So Jarring, Tina Had to Be Hospitalized.” – Sam
· “They Don’t Call Me “Subtle Stacy” for Nothing” – fresca
Creep (yelling out of window): Oh, sexy! Look at you in that red shirt! I love girls in colors!
Girl #1 (yelling and running): I'm married!
Girl #2: Shit, don't say that. You look like you're 12, no one will believe you're married.
Girl #1: Yeah, I should have said I was a lesbian.
Girl #2: He'll just think it's hot!
Girl #1: I did always think that was so weird about guys.
Girl #2: It's not just guys. A lot of girls think lesbians are hot, too.
Girl #1: Yeah, like, especially lesbians.
–6th Ave
Gay guy: Pelosi is sooo emasculating. That's why no one will vote for a female president. Because then they won't have a penis. Except for the women, I mean.
Girl: Huh???
–NYU
Overheard by: Dale
Gay friend: Yeah right, I'm sure it's not that good.
Girl (loudly): Ohmigod, my sex is so that good. (to passengers) Who wants to try?
(silence)
–F train
Overheard by: definitely not me
Creepy old man to teenage girls: Oh my god! Your feet! They're so beautiful. The toes and everything!
Teenage girl #1: Did he just say my… feet?
Teenage girl #2: Yes, he definitely just said our feet. Toes and everything.
Teenage girl #1: Figures.
–14th & 6th
Girl eating chocolate cake to woman in next cubicle: Oh my god, this is so good–I think even you would eat this cake.
Woman in next cubicle: I don't eat nothing coming off of Long Island.
–Random NYU Administration Office
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Trendy Latina #1: Is it an insect?
Trendy Latina #2: Yes!
Trendy Latina #1: So it's an ant-eater?
Trendy Latina #2: No!
–Long Island RR
