Chick #1: I want chocolate, but no nuts. What kind of candy bar doesn’t have nuts?
Chick #2: Um…Almond Joy?
–Bodega, 44th & 9th
Overheard by: Peter Shankman
Chick #1: I want chocolate, but no nuts. What kind of candy bar doesn’t have nuts?
Chick #2: Um…Almond Joy?
–Bodega, 44th & 9th
Overheard by: Peter Shankman
Teen girl #1: He called me a female dog.
Teen girl #2: Oh.
Teen girl #1: Then I set him on fire, and he was like, “Okay.”
–Forest Hills
Girl #1: We should go to a karaoke bar, get a whole bunch of people and get a room.
Girl #2: A room?
Girl #1: Yeah, they have private rooms.
Girl #2: Oh! So you don’t have to do it in front of fat people!
–11th Street between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Cait O’Connor
Girl: You staring at me?
Guy: Yeah, but only ’cause you look so fine.
Girl: True. But you can stop checking me out now. These aren’t public titties, they’re private titties. For select audiences only, and you’re not a member.
–A train
Girl #1: So after we go to the MOMA, we’ll go to the Village and do some shopping–
Girl #2: What’s this “Village” you keep talking about? Is it far away?
–96th Street 1/2/3 station
Chick: I’m afraid of birds, so I go to the bird store next door to sort of get over it, you know? So I was down there today and there was this lady there who owns one of the birds, and she was saying how it bit her in the lip, and she lost feeling in her finger. That makes me think…they really are evil!
–Office, E. 33rd Street
Man on cell: Hello. Yes, this is the squirrel from the park. Please
come back to the park, I’m not in the park but I’ll be there soon.
–23rd & 6th
College girl: I always associate double-parking with shrimp.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Andrea Natalie Goldstein
Hispanic girl: Yo, butterflies is scary!
–B train
College girl: Yeah, my mom was watching this commercial about kitty litter where there was this cat who said, “Yeah, and then they go and do the thing…” Wait. I mean, that’s not what the cat said. I’m just paraphrasing.
–Starbucks, 67th & Columbus
Girl #1: I just got the best internship ever! I’m so excited.
Girl #2: That’s great! Where is it?
Girl #1: I’ll be working at the Momma Museum; I’ve always wanted to work there.
Girl #2: What’s the Momma Museum?
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: lauren s.
Chick #1: He has to know.
Chick #2: Well I am human.
Chick #1: He can’t expect that you won’t. I mean, if you move in together. Come on.
Chick #2: I’ve been taking these things call Senna Tabs.
Chick #1: Are they good?
Chick #2: They’re awesome.
Chick #1: I’ve been having the worst time of it
Chick #2: Here, I’ve got some with me. Try one
Chick #1: It won’t work immediately right? I’ve got some shopping to do.
–F train
Overheard by: Dave Chambers
College girl #1: Ooh, bubble tea. I’ve never tried that. I see signs for it everywhere.
College girl #2: I think it’s chai tea but with little balls of tapioca.
College girl #1: Like tapioca pudding kind of tapioca?
College girl #2: No, like…they’re bigger. They’re blobs and they’re kind of black.
College girl #1: No way.
College girl #2: Yes way. Someone at school dumped their leftover bubble tea in the toilet on the first floor of my building, and they didn’t flush.
College girl #1: So that’s how you knew the balls, the blobs, were black?
College girl #2: Well, yeah. It looked like an octopus had a miscarriage.
–44th between 7th & 8th
Guy: I want to go to FIT so I can hook up with girls.
–27th & 7th
Girl: I mean, I got shat on at Harvard.
–9th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Kamran Javadizadeh
Woman: Is there a special event going on at Columbia this summer? Because I’ve seen a lot of Asians around.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Carrie
Hipster girl: I mean, I’ve got like, over 160 facebook friends. Does that not mean anything?
–56th & 6th
Overheard by: Joyce Shen
Sociology professor: No one knows what the hell Derrida is talking about, but we all pretend we do anyway.
–Columbia
Overheard by: djlindee
