Chick: Where are you from?
Male employee: Mexico. Where are you from?
Chick: Iran.
Male employee: Where?
Chick, simulating gunfire: Iran. You know, terrorists. Bang, bang!
Male employee: Oh. Yeah.
–Chipotle, E 8th St
Chick: Where are you from?
Male employee: Mexico. Where are you from?
Chick: Iran.
Male employee: Where?
Chick, simulating gunfire: Iran. You know, terrorists. Bang, bang!
Male employee: Oh. Yeah.
–Chipotle, E 8th St
Crackhead girl talking to old pimp: I don’t know why for she call you… Just to be talkin’ shit… You know how I be is…
–Bed-Stuy
Vassar student: If I spoke France fluently, I’d be there right now!
–West 7th & Avenue T
Man leaning into friend’s car window: Nah, she aight… Nah, she aight… Nah, she aight. [Sees a guy across the street] Hey, man, you aight? Aight… Nah, she aight…
–150th & Macombs
Black woman: He coulda played for the Bears, he coulda played for the Jets, but nothing never stucked.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: off white
Earnest student giving presentation: I was going to talk about Freud, but I decided he was tangenital to the discussion.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: She wasn’t kidding, and no one laughed
Artistic hipster wannabe: Also, not to get too psychoanaliterature…
–Starbucks, Union Square West
Overheard by: Benjamin
Thug: Yo, nigga, don’t make me yo’ escapegoat!
–4 train, Bronx
Overheard by: charles elliot
Teacher: Where was the Battle of Saratoga fought?
Student #1: South America?
Student #2: No, you idiot, it’s in Russia!
–NYC High School
Guy: You know Puerto Rico is a commonwealth, right?
Puerto Rican girl: Yeah, so?
Guy: Well, you called it a country.
Puerto Rican girl: I’ve just got pride like that.
Guy: What, pride about being American?
–F train
Overheard by: Alison
Woman #1: It’s hot as Haiti in this store.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Isn’t it supposed to be hot there?
Woman #2: I think you mean ‘Hades.’
Woman #1: No. It’s a place in the Caribbean.
–Banana Republic, 42nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Not Haitian
Queer #1: So, what is this movie about?
Queer #2: Gael Garcia Bernal moves to Paris and starts having some weird dreams.
Queer #1: Of an erotic nature?
Queer #2: I certainly hope so.
–Angelika Film Center
Overheard by: queer_number_3
Jersey lady pointing at a French bulldog: Look at this face! He’s adorable! He looks Italian!
–26th & 7th
Overheard by: sara n.
College chick: You were born in Italy? That’s awesome… Speak some Italy for me. Wait, that’s what you speak, right?
–Classroom
Drunk yelling at a pizza shop: Who the fuck are you? You’re fucking Mexican! You’re not Italian! I’m Italian!! I make the fucking pizzas in this town!
–Bedford and N 7th St
Overheard by: Actually I’m from Equador
Guy: I feel like I’m at a dry-cleaning convention that is being shaken down by the mob.
–Korean-Italian wedding
Overheard by: Retarded Quarterback
Old lady with a cane: My father is Jewish and my mother is Italian, and I am in therapy.
–Lower Manhattan
Guy: Hey Beautiful, where you from?
Girl: Sao Paulo.
Guy: Oh yeah… Europe, right? Ain’t that where they make Absolut?
–38th & 7th
Overheard by: Mark Keller
Smart girl #1: I didn’t know Lady Sovereign was white.
Smart girl #2: She’s not white, she’s British.
–Virgin Records
Man on cell: What are you, some sort of reverse vampire?
–C train
Dude: And there were unicorns exploding in the background… or at least doing whatever it is unicorns do.
–Live Bait, 23rd St
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Chick: You kind of look like a vampire in this picture. But a cool vampire! Like, if you were in The Lost Boys, Kiefer Sutherland would totally want to have sex with you.
–55th & 6th
Overheard by: wants to have sex with Kiefer Sutherland
Drunk hobo chuckling: You people look depressed! I know how to cheer you up. I’ll sing my favorite song! ‘Ding, dong, the witch is dead, the witch is dead…’ [Looks around] Hmmm… [Notices the train going express] What the…? I need a new mathematician! I need a new mathematician!
–6 train making express stops on a surprise basis
Overheard by: Barry Negrin
Sax-wielding hobo: I am an alien! From outer space! Not from Mexico!
–L train
Overheard by: Alex P. Keaton
Ricky’s employee: Looks like I’m all out in the fairy department.
–58th & Broadway
Mom: Johnny, put down the sword. Vampires don’t use weapons. Their teeth are their weapons.
–Halloween shop, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
