Guy on cell: Just because I slept with your mother doesn't mean you could call me daddy!
Girl on train: You could be my baby's daddy if you want!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Richard B.
Guy on cell: Just because I slept with your mother doesn't mean you could call me daddy!
Girl on train: You could be my baby's daddy if you want!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Richard B.
Asian chick: So, like, what do people at your school wear?
Parsons guy: It varies. Some people dress like they’re homeless, and some dress really trendy, and there’s one girl that dresses like a gnome. You know, a fairy or something.
–Fung Wah bus
Drunk guy being carried by his friends: Shhhhh…
Friend #1: You can't “shush” New York.
Drunk guy: Who's that?
Friend #2: I don't know, but he's 90 years old and smells like Robert Downey Jr.
Drunk guy: Shhhhh…
–Staten Island Ferry
Creepy drunk guy: I'm going to go to the bathroom and then I'm going to come back and hit on you some more.
Girl to friend: I fucking hope not, I think that guy has an open wound on his arm.
–W 12th
Hipster girl staring at bike locked to sign: Why would anyone steal just the front wheel of a bike?
Hipster guy: To buy heroin.
–Grand & Driggs
Overheard by: Adam
Girl: I feel like sex shouldn't have to involve major home reconstruction.
Guy: It shouldn't, but it does.
–Grand Army Plaza, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Hunter
Girl: She got it for her grandfather.
Guy: He ain't gonna like that.
Girl: You don't know him.
Guy: All I'm sayin' is unless she wins the lotto, she's never gonna be anything but middle class.
Girl: She ain't even middle class!
Guy: I mean she won't get any better than that. Companies just don't hire people with face tattoos. But maybe it's different for girls.
–168th St
Overheard by: Acacia Graddy-Gamel
Girl, on escalator: Oh! I'm definitely getting a brownie.
Guy, on escalator: Really?
Girl: Yep, it's going to be full-fat and wonderful!
Guy: You'll eat a brownie, but you won't touch my nuts?
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Diane
Black guy #1: Yeah, Obama! The slaves are free!
Black guy #2: Uh, what?
–Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: walkin' whitey
Drunk tourist guy #1 to guy on movie set: Hey, what are they filming?
Guy on movie set: Arthur.
Drunk tourist guy #1: Cool! With Dudley Moore?
Drunk tourist guy #2: Dudley Moore is dead, you fucking idiot!
–Park Ave & 51st St
Overheard by: Annie
