Man on bike to group of girls on bench: I touch myself at night!
Girls: (applaud)
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Sunny
Man on bike to group of girls on bench: I touch myself at night!
Girls: (applaud)
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Sunny
Guy: I mean, we're on an island, too.
Girl: Seriously?
–1 Train
Girl to guy she's been talking to for last half hour: Half the time I'm talking to you I wanna slap you.
Guy: Then why do you talk to me?
–St. John's University
Guy: My butt is itchy!
–7 Train
Guy to friend: Remember that chick I told you about who told me that I could smell her cum?
–City Hall New York Sports Club
Latina girl on cell: Didn't Nick get you that phone? (pause) No, not really… (pause) Cause I'm spoiled. (pause) That's not true, I spoil you, boy… I got you that perfume. It smells real nice, actually not that nice. It smells like granny… It smells like abuelita!
–Union Square
Teeny Asian lady on cell, screaming at the top of her lungs: Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it!
–23rd St
Overheard by: Ladle
20-something hipster girl to friend, after running to catch the subway: I think this is the r… It smells like the r.
–R Train
20-something girl to friend: You smell good, but I smell better.
–Bond St
Blonde: But I want my money to have personality.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Late Night Doritos
Guy in Sweeny Todd t-shirt: Oh my god, we have to go back, we forgot the cardboard! How can we make money without cardboard?!
–McDonald's, 3rd Ave
Eastern European man: I never waited for an ATM in my life! What the fuck!?
–Bank of America, University & 14th
Well-dressed middle aged woman: Money is so expensive these days…
–Filene's Basement, Union Square
Overheard by: Bargin Shopper
Woman in line for general admission, to companion: An $18 museum? You'd better look at fucking everything, and touch some stuff too!
–Guggenheim Museum
Overheard by: Tom
Guy who just bumped into a group of women from work, in incredulous tone: So, you're all just out shopping for yarn and stuff?
Group of very excited 30-something women who just bought yarn: Yeah!
–Smith St, Brooklyn, Outside Yarn Store
Overheard by: Zoe
Asian guy #1: I saw Mulan for the first time the other day.
Asian guy #2: Yeah?
Asian guy #1: Yeah, I didn't like it. There weren't enough Asians in it.
–7 Train
Guy #1: What baby?
Guy #2: No, I said I slept like a baby.
–8th Ave & 15th St
Guy #1: I have never peed on anyone!
Guy #2: Yeah, and Abraham Lincoln never told a lie.
–Manhattan & Kent, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Chris
