Guy: Well, she was like 35, so she wasn’t hot…
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Guy: Well, she was like 35, so she wasn’t hot…
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Girl: Hey, do you have to read that for class?
Guy: Nope, just picked it up for fun.
Girl: If you like Vonnegut, you’d really like One Flew Out of the Cuckoo’s Next.
Guy: This is my stop.
–4 train
Overheard by: Yael
Guy: Stop being such a Debbie Downer.
Girl: Stop watching such shitty tv shows.
–Q train
Lady: A lot of people came off this train. Why aren’t you people moving in?
Guy: There’s a baby stroller in the back.
Lady: Well, they should move it. Move it over to the side!
Guy: Move a tiny infant baby? Everybody, look! This lady right here is the Antichrist! Move the baby? You the Antichrist!
–6 train
Girl: Well, as a lesbian, it’s not something I understand…
Guy: You mean, she’s a size queen?
Girl: I didn’t say that…but I don’t get it.
Guy: I don’t get it either. I mean, I’ve slammed into someone’s cervix, and it didn’t look like that was too fun for her.
Girl: Well, I guess you have nothing to worry about.
–Under The Volcano, East 36th Street
Girl: Why do they have to be so rude here?
Guy: I feel like I’ve been gang raped with a 12 inch loaf.
–Subway, Rockefeller Center concourse
Professor guy: And who was Sadat?
Chick: Leader of Egypt?
Professor: And what was he doing in 1981?
Chick: Being assassinated?
–Columbia University
Dude #1: So it’s either lots of bran every day, or just wake up to a cigarette and coffee. Works for me every time.
Dude #2: So there’s a health benefit to your vices, huh?
Dude #1: I guess so.
Dude #2: I wonder if gay guys have good shits. Maybe that’s a benefit of anal sex.
Dude #1: I’ll stick to cigarettes and coffee, thanks.
–Starbucks, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: iiams
Guy #1: You don’t have one gay relative?
Guy #2: Well, maybe my junkie cousin.
–7th Street & 2nd Avenue
Girl: What about that one ugly girl?
Guy: Man, she is so ugly. I would not touch that shit.
Girl: But you already fucked her!
Guy: Yeah, but it was only once. And I used a rubber.
Guy: You’re an ugly cheating cocksucking whore; you’re a fucking ugly slut. But you know why I stay with you? We have compatible personalities.
Guy: I hate that bitch. I want to fuck her in the ass.
Girl: But baby, you like to fuck me in the ass.
Guy: Yeah baby, but you like it when I fuck you in the ass.
Girl: Yeah, it doesn’t hurt so bad when you remember to breathe.
Girl: So when we get married are you gonna stop fucking my sister?
Guy: But I’ve been fucking her for a while now…It’s like a habit.
–Olive Garden, Times Square
Overheard by: helen r.
